Ginger Moon: The Journal of Life

You don't have to read this one. I am using this piece to help me organize a research project: Yeap! Work invades life all the time. But as Alex said, "you have to find life in your work."

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头一个哪儿都没去呆在家里的圣诞节；因为前几天去的聚会太多了，也因为过两天
就要去 Santa-Cruz 和旧金山了。夜色初上的时候在街上走了一趟，到处是闪烁辉
煌的圣诞灯火。圣诞节是美国人心中的童话和神话，就象中国人的中秋和端午。

家是个温柔的小窝；很高兴有这个独自创建的家；这大概是新一代女性的特色。结
婚生子不再是生活的主流，忙着快乐，旅行，和多彩的总在变的生活。半夜时下雨
了，雨点敲打着屋顶和天窗。点起一只巨大的蜡烛，玫瑰水香的；倒了一杯 Jacob
Creek's Shiraz, 在深夜里写作。我是个时间的盗儿。

圣地亚哥很少有这样灰蒙蒙的雨天，因此很自匿舒适。在家写作，看雨，听圣诞节
的歌声在收音机里飘扬。日子这样好！晚上要跟 Alex 去 Cafe Sevilla, 我最喜欢
的西班牙餐馆和音乐/舞巴。我会坐在靠墙的角落里听热情的 Flemenco 弹唱，看街
上的人来人往。 圣地亚哥是一个有灵魂和独特魅力的城市，尤其是夜晚，这样多的
人们在尽情地安他们自己的方式庆祝生活。

Human beings have a deep need for novelty. People who are living happy lives are constantly pushing the envelope and playing out at the frontiers. They are constantly stretching themselves and trying new things. When we were kids, we loved adventure. Life was a game and we were not frightened to experience the unexpected. And in doing so, we grew on a daily basis and happiness filled our hearts.
--From a friend

My response:
Yes, learn to know ourselves at the deepest level. Listen to our inner voice and let ourself be taken away by creativity. Let our emotions and imagination fly. Once a while, allow yourself to be wild, childish, radical, and emotional.
This morning, watching the green tea leaves floating in the glass, I said to myself, "I am really behind my dreams."

Work and live like a holistic human being, not a machine.

This movie swept China a few years ago; loved and adored by the middle-aged generation. Here are some words worthy knowing:

"What Robert and I had couldn't continue if we were together; What Richard and I shared would not vanish even if we were apart. Love wouldn't obey our expectations.

Robert is the lover and Richard is the husband. She had her dreams but she had to give it away.

[Reworded] But he [Rob] is right. We are not two people anymore. We are bond as close as possible. And he sustained me all these years.

They "crammed" their entire lives in that few days, to passionate love and pure affection. The dress she wore when having dinner with him, she wouldn't wear it anymore. Because it has become almost a wedding gown for her.

This movie is soul-touching. And I am big fan of Kevin Lastname? He is so cool so down to earth. Also, a tragical ending; not very typical Hollywood. Here are some words:

"Oh and every time I'm close to you, there's too much I can't say.
And you just walk away. And I forgot to tell you, I love you
And the night's too long and cold here without you
I grieve in my condition for cannot find the words to say I need you so

If some lives form a perfect circle, others take shapes in ways which I can't understand;
Loss has been part of my journey,
So has a love for which I can only be grateful."

Beautiful cinematography, the banks of the Atlantic, light house, sunset, and the two cuddled on the beach. She found him, through a message in a bottle. A fairy tale everyone knows, but beautifully played out in a realistic way.
I couldn't go to sleep; I cried and am also inspired to write a touching story. I might begin it today. The book the movie was based on isn't big. That's the way to go! Write something that can be moved to the screen.

I am going to do a final dash--all kinds of cleaning and preparing. It's nice to come to an end and start something new. Like achieving a milestone.

This might be one of my best years, travelling (Oahu, Kauai, Davis, SAC, LA, Long Beach, Santa-Barbara, The Red Woods, D.C., Orlando, Arizona twice, Catalina Island).
The true love many never experience; two novels on the way; lots of wonderful students; many memorable dances--tango, salsa, and swing.
Still I will write new year resolutions. Until later.

放假的最大好处就是自由，完全的身心自由。思绪象鸟一样放飞，很多时候不知道作
什么好，因为可作的太多了：读书， 写作，上网，装饰房子，跳舞，购物，烹调。。。
日子就这样过去。不知道那些有家有口的女人们是怎么平衡她们的生活的。

上海的小学生们认为他们的妈妈身上油烟味太重，我觉不想成为这些妈妈中的一员。
学一学西方女人吧，她们事业生活两不耽误。人到中年了依旧活泼漂亮象鲜亮的公
主，秘诀在于：不失去自己！

美丽的女人很多，但高雅如清水芙蓉的不多。那样的女人总是鹤立鸡群，她们美而
不自傲；似乎美只是她们的点缀，内在的热情诗情才是最重要的。

我昨天在写红杉林中的爱情故事时，远方的瑞棋似乎感觉到了。他说一直在想着我，
想着那个迷人的夏天。我们每年只见几次，但每次都象蜜月。尤其是在北加的那个
小镇，他牵着我的手在夏天的黄昏走过。街头到处是音乐家，我们旁若无人地跳舞，
Salsa 和阿根廷探戈。他曾经是专业的 Flemenco dancer; 我实在三生有幸。况且
他象 George Colony 一样英俊潇洒。这么多年了，他是唯一一个读我写给他的小说
并且字字记在心里的人。这大概是我一生中最真诚，最浪漫，最梦幻般的恋爱了。
这种恋情毫无目的，只任热情燃烧。 下一部小说的名字该是-<<-激情燃烧的岁
月>>。

象珍儿那样耐得住寂寞，献身给自己的追求和梦想。这也是我们七十年代人的特质。
女人的美也是跟化妆品没关系的，内在的诗胜过外在的涂沫

We do think of ourselves as princess. That's silly but also prevents us from being too "real." Here are some poems I wrote in my first love. Can't imagine I used to think that way. But proud of my "pure emotion" too:

初恋的诗
我的胸怀真是一片清新的草原，能放牧你绵长悠远的梦么？
你是晨曦，我的灵魂是原野。 因为你的原因，我的树苑盛开你最柔美的花儿， 在
晓风中芬芳。
你是布谷，我的心灵是小溪，因了你的缘故，我的浪花在憧憬中潺潺流淌。
你软软的情思，融化了我的魂与魄，我觉得我在飘飞，变成了一挂很美很美的瀑布。

为什么
我可以锁住我的笔， 却锁不住爱的忧伤。
为什么欢乐总是乍现就凋落，走得最急的总是最美好的时光。
一定有些什么， 在叶落之后，是我所必须放弃的
是十八岁和三十岁的日记里， 还是我藏了一生的那些美丽的如白合般的秘密。

他怔怔地望着我，脸色很平静，往事如树叶筛漏的阳光一样斑驳在他的额头。 他淡
略地说了那无望的未来，她的夜空已经没有月色了。
所有的结局都已经写好，她们的故事总有一天要结束。在人生的长河里，他们是两
颗小雨滴，偶尔遇合在一起，又要匆匆分离。只有初次相逢的 那道情绪的波流，萦
绕着我孤寂的心灵，知道把你忘却。

他们头顶一片阴云密布的天空，在自己编织的茅草棚下，做着仲夏夜的梦。
她是一道很美很美的瀑布，纯洁，清灵， 飘逸；他是淘渊名笔下的田园诗， 宁静
温馨，纯朴自然； 读你千遍也不厌倦

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题：被称为世上最经典的25句话 | 回响 (0)
□来源：Time 2 Learn
□作者：david 　□时间：December 18, 2003 05:25 PM
□内容：
前不久访问“E-Learning心法”，看到其中的“嘉言集锦”，哑然失笑，引子是“計畫永遠趕不上變化，變化比不上長官的一句話”，引出的还有“快樂不是因為擁有的多，而是計較的少。”“經驗不是一個人的遭遇，而是他如何面對自己的遭遇。”等。碰巧今天又收到同事的电子邮件，觉得亦有同样智慧。不过世间事从来知易行难，座右铭也不过一条，总归要一堑一堑地吃下去，才能长一点点智慧啊。

被称为世上最经典的25句话
送交者: 冬云 2003年12月16日16:21:15 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com


１，记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的。改变能改变的，接受不能改变的。

２，能冲刷一切的除了眼泪，就是时间，以时间来推移感情，时间越长，冲突越 淡，仿佛不断稀释的茶。

３，怨言是上天得至人类最大的供物，也是人类祷告中最真诚的部分。

４，智慧的代价是矛盾。这是人生对人生观开的玩笑。

５，世上的姑娘总以为自己是骄傲的公主（除了少数极丑和少数极聪明的姑娘例外）。

６，如果敌人让你生气，那说明你还没有胜他的把握。

７，如果朋友让你生气，那说明你仍然在意他的友情。

８，令狐冲说“有些事情本身我们无法控制，只好控制自己。”

９，我不知道我现在做的哪些是对的，那些是错的，而当我终于老死的时候我才知道这些。所以我现在所能做的就是尽力做好待着老死。

１０，也许有些人很可恶，有些人很卑鄙。而当我设身为他想象的时候，我才知道：他比我还可怜。所以请原谅所有你见过的人，好人或者坏人。

１１，鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里．水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里。

１２，快乐要有悲伤作陪，雨过应该就有天晴。如果雨后还是雨，如果忧伤之后还是忧伤．请让我们从容面对这离别之后的离别。微笑地去寻找一个不可能出现的你！

１３，死亡教会人一切，如同考试之后公布的结果——虽然恍然大悟，但为时晚矣~！

１４，你出生的时候，你哭着，周围的人笑着；你逝去的时候，你笑着，而周围的人在哭！一切都是轮回!!!! 我们都在轮回中!!!!

１５，男人在结婚前觉得适合自己的女人很少，结婚后觉得适合自己的女人很多。

１６，于千万人之中，遇见你所遇见的人；于千万年之中，时间的无涯荒野里，没有早一步，也没有晚一步，刚巧赶上了 。

１７，每个人都有潜在的能量，只是很容易:被习惯所掩盖，被时间所迷离,被惰性所消磨。

１８，人生短短几十年，不要给自己留下了什么遗憾，想笑就笑，想哭就哭，该爱的时候就去爱，无谓压抑自己。

１９，《和平年代》里的话：当幻想和现实面对时，总是很痛苦的。要么你被痛苦击倒，要么你把痛苦踩在脚下。

２０，真正的爱情是不讲究热闹不讲究排场不讲究繁华更不讲究嚎头的。

２１，生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？

２２，我们确实活得艰难，一要承受种种外部的压力，更要面对自己内心的困惑。在苦苦挣扎中，如果有人向你投以理解的目光，你会感到一种生命的暖意，或许仅有短暂的一瞥，就足以使我感奋不已。

２３，我不去想是否能够成功,既然选择了远方,便只顾风雨兼程；我不去想,身后会不会袭来寒风冷雨,既然目标是地平线,留给世界的只能是背影。

２４，后悔是一种耗费精神的情绪.后悔是比损失更大的损失,比错误更大的错误.所以不要后悔 。

２５，日出东海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不钻牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦。

Finally, I called Zhen, my best girlfriend in China. We have lost contact for a couple of years (busy life). But we were able to pick up our conversation as if no time has elapsed since 1997. She said she still has that photo--two of us eating raspberry underneath a tree in Peking U campus.
Zhen and I are so typical of people born in the 70s, positive, idealistic, spiritually-fulfilled, successfully with our careers, but wise enough to not to be tied to materials. We can be happy without money and able to make the best out of nothing. She has an anthology of poems needed to be published; I have a novel. And all these factors, we are both single! Zhen said she feels content about being single and wouldn't mind being this way all her life. She is translating biographies of Marx; and deeply in love with study of religion. Thank you for being my soulmate all these years even when we did not communicate. Some of the relations, time and space can't separate.

Called my sister and she had fun stories to tell too. Her recent romance with a boy in Shanghai. It was a raining night, they took a long walk on the street, sat in front of a store, and drank up an entire bottle of red wine. This brings back the memories of my college love, stories left behind at the Nameless Lake and the Yangzi River.
She was involved with another boy but now things have changed. Chinese society is getting so materialistic these days; you have to think of reality. I can't blame her. I would probably make the same choice. How lucky I am to live in the states! Money, family background, or the person's job will not affect the natural affection; because a capable man can always turn his life around.

Dancing is always stimulating. I can finish a paper after dancing all night. This is known as the emotional engagement of work/learning. So we had a blast at that party. I danced with others to the "gaslamp band" (I just named them), Salsa, Tango, Swing, Combia, and others. Some people might felt uncomfortable at this--more of an "academic" party. But who cares! I am old enough to enjoy myself, to judge myself, not afraid of being judged, and do not care for what others say. I am too busy in living my own lives--like Hilary said.

I had lots of interesting dreams last night. My mind is always so active when I sleep. Yoga exhausted my body but energized my mind. How interesting. The dream scene was a narrow street, like the one in State College. Lots of coffee house and stores along the street. I saw my mother, sister, a high-school classmate (Zheng Xin), and J. A bunch of nice-looking boys sit in one of the cafe. They were all Journalists.

Gong Li was in my dream, having a lawsuit with someone. Not a real lawsuit, more of a debate. The juror said she was too arrogant to answer the questions well. She decided to run away with her new lover to Hong Kang but then he got a phone call. That call said, "we must leave now." It was a military order.

Finally, the finals week. Pressure is high but spirit is good. My Tuesday class dressed up, dressed down, dressed how they felt. They said they will miss me. I'll miss them too. One of the most lively classes I have ever had. They treat me like a friend but respected me as a teacher.
The other class, some are eager to get out of the professor-student thing so they can really be my friends. I am moved. I brought them some diverse cookies, French cookie labeled in Chinese.
I can smell Christmas in the air.

I should start a special column on what is going on today in China. I will post news especially the music news I heard from Beijing Music Radio. Let's see if there are reader interests.

Monday is always a long day, because I teach a research class from 7-10pm. So I took a break at dusk and walked around our beautiful campus. Traffic on the freeway is busy as usual; I always love watching the traffic on the Southern CAL freeway. Then I spotted the big yellow moon, hanging over the hills of San Carols, serene and stunningly beautiful; forming such a contrast with the freeway. Just like a picture, the one you usuall only see on a postcard. The moonlight energized me and we had a good session studying statistics, not "sadistics." We live in such a busy industrial society; we need that moon.

I had friends come over for dinner. It was such an enjoyable evening; all my work paid off--shopping, cleaning, cooking, and hosting. It feels so good to entertain others and make them smile. I also loved the setting of my dinner table: wine glasses, nicely-folded napkins, specially prepared dishes, and good accompanies of course.
Everyone brought wine and flowers. I am so moved by their generous love.