Saturday, April 24, 2004
Starting a New Way of Living
All of a sudden, my soul connected to my heart and brain; an inner voice screamed, "writing!" My passion, my dream; starting from today. I have so much written already; I need to find a good publisher; one who is willing to invest in me and see me grow.
10 days before going to Paris and Sweden; forget the world, focus and write. Yes, starting now...
10 days before going to Paris and Sweden; forget the world, focus and write. Yes, starting now...
Don't Settle!
Settle, settle for anything and you're doomed. There are too many mediocre things to deal with in life and love shouldn't be one of them. Anything less than mad, passionate, extradition love is a waster of time.--From Dream of an Insomnia, Chesed's Guest book. How inspiring!
I do feel abandoned these past few days; quite silly, since it has only been a few days. But it previewed the bleak mood I'll be in when BB will be completely out one day, either by choice or taken away by God. My life will be in hopeless and miserable. It's time to detach and entangle. Refuse and refuse to be taken for granted. You are unique and special and deserves someone who is dedicated, honest, loving, and responsible; someone who always has your best benefits in heart and never make you suffer.
Yes, I went through lots of changes these few days; hard times make me stronger. That's how I get where I am today, from that rural village in China.
I do feel abandoned these past few days; quite silly, since it has only been a few days. But it previewed the bleak mood I'll be in when BB will be completely out one day, either by choice or taken away by God. My life will be in hopeless and miserable. It's time to detach and entangle. Refuse and refuse to be taken for granted. You are unique and special and deserves someone who is dedicated, honest, loving, and responsible; someone who always has your best benefits in heart and never make you suffer.
Yes, I went through lots of changes these few days; hard times make me stronger. That's how I get where I am today, from that rural village in China.
你的肩膀上有没有一只蝴蝶
在人的一生中，有些缘分是终究要失去的；
但是如果拥有一个人，就要好好去爱他。
--From Beijing Music Radio
但是如果拥有一个人，就要好好去爱他。
--From Beijing Music Radio
30岁的女人
From FHy.net
按照留学界人士的看法，30岁以上为求生活出路自费出国留学的男人非常少，他们往往不敢在一个难以回头的年龄投资数十万元以一个尴尬的身份流落他乡，到一个动荡的、陌生的世界去，因为他们输不起。在王家卫的电影《东邪西毒》里，东邪说过这样一句话：人们年轻的时候总是很想到山那边的沙漠去看一看，以为那里一定会比这边美。不过等你真的去到那边，你会发现其实每一个沙漠都是一样的。
但女人却是随时怀着对彼岸世界的想象站在此岸的边缘上，伺机出走。30岁的女人，开始感到生命太匆匆，如果在国内看不到出路，如果有勇气放弃从前所有，无论外面的世界是不是她们想象的那样，她们还是会想方设法离开。
按照留学界人士的看法，30岁以上为求生活出路自费出国留学的男人非常少，他们往往不敢在一个难以回头的年龄投资数十万元以一个尴尬的身份流落他乡，到一个动荡的、陌生的世界去，因为他们输不起。在王家卫的电影《东邪西毒》里，东邪说过这样一句话：人们年轻的时候总是很想到山那边的沙漠去看一看，以为那里一定会比这边美。不过等你真的去到那边，你会发现其实每一个沙漠都是一样的。
但女人却是随时怀着对彼岸世界的想象站在此岸的边缘上，伺机出走。30岁的女人，开始感到生命太匆匆，如果在国内看不到出路，如果有勇气放弃从前所有，无论外面的世界是不是她们想象的那样，她们还是会想方设法离开。
More about the 70s
网上还有音乐会的广告，是国内年轻一代生活的侧影。快乐至死音乐会，校园先锋，
浪漫情歌。 到底谁是这个时代的代表呢？
七十年代的一代人在这些美妙清纯的歌声里长大。是的我们走得很远，从前的船搁
浅在破旧的港湾。这些歌声却藏在心头永不退色。 它们影响了我们的成长的日子，
造就了我们单纯，快乐，善感的精神家园。
我喜欢在黄昏时分去海边。月光下的海滩一望无际， 海浪汹涌澎湃着， 有种孤帆
远影的感觉。落日把天边烧成一片红色，灿烂得梦幻一般。
浪漫情歌。 到底谁是这个时代的代表呢？
七十年代的一代人在这些美妙清纯的歌声里长大。是的我们走得很远，从前的船搁
浅在破旧的港湾。这些歌声却藏在心头永不退色。 它们影响了我们的成长的日子，
造就了我们单纯，快乐，善感的精神家园。
我喜欢在黄昏时分去海边。月光下的海滩一望无际， 海浪汹涌澎湃着， 有种孤帆
远影的感觉。落日把天边烧成一片红色，灿烂得梦幻一般。
The Best of Capitola
Still, one of my favorite shots. The ocean, the birds, and that serene morning. Life is full of soul-taking moments.
Best Photos
Thanks to Qiaoqiao, guiding me to load photos to Blog. I am going to indulge myself in travel photos for a while.
The sunrise of Shanghai JiaoTong U. I don't think people on that campus know how beautiful their sun is.-:)
The sunset of Beijing Normal U (ShiDa). I don't think they know this sunset either.
The sunrise of Shanghai JiaoTong U. I don't think people on that campus know how beautiful their sun is.-:)
The sunset of Beijing Normal U (ShiDa). I don't think they know this sunset either.
A Blogger's Comment on My Blog
"I stumble upon Ginger Moon, a blog by a Chinese who teaches at SDSU. Great read. Her writing style, especially in Chinese, is a bit ostentatious for my liking--that's probably from the literature influence of the late 80s and early 90s, but I like the palpable sensitivity, reflective thoughts and cheerful spirit in that blog's personality. And there're a lot I can echo upon too, as someone who has similar background and awareness. She is writing some novel of "Born in the 70s". Maybe there is something unique about us "born in the 70s" Chinese nomads here (see also in my Apr. 11th post).
Two nice things of being a writer (or novelist) are that 1. They don't need to set their professional life and personal life too far apart. 2. They love life, if not of their own, then at least of others'.
Her talks about Chinese schools using blogs for E-learning though have me amused. Isn't China blocking blogs? How good can a learning process be, if you don't allow free speech and information?
Above all, reading her blog makes me nostalgic about Shanghai, and its people. Maybe I'll talk about SH tomorrow."
From http://prettypig.blogspot.com/
Two nice things of being a writer (or novelist) are that 1. They don't need to set their professional life and personal life too far apart. 2. They love life, if not of their own, then at least of others'.
Her talks about Chinese schools using blogs for E-learning though have me amused. Isn't China blocking blogs? How good can a learning process be, if you don't allow free speech and information?
Above all, reading her blog makes me nostalgic about Shanghai, and its people. Maybe I'll talk about SH tomorrow."
From http://prettypig.blogspot.com/
Trip to Monterey
北加山谷和村庄的美丽在去Monterey 的路上一现无遗。有些景观象夏威夷，绿色的
毛茸茸的原野，吃草的牛儿， 和卖水果的路边小滩儿。她开着蓝色的福特在高速路
一上疾驰，迷失的时空，她不知道身在何处。
BB说：“我相信这些开车经验会让你坚强些；就像你从洛杉矶回来后那样的自信，
一种克服了艰难困苦的自信。”
为什么人们总是这样忙，压力和忙碌似乎跟成功成正比；不忙的人会感到被时光遗
弃。人不是机器，短暂的休憩很必要的。工作过於辛苦的人没有时间作大事，必须
广收博览， 人生才会有收获和转机。
毛茸茸的原野，吃草的牛儿， 和卖水果的路边小滩儿。她开着蓝色的福特在高速路
一上疾驰，迷失的时空，她不知道身在何处。
BB说：“我相信这些开车经验会让你坚强些；就像你从洛杉矶回来后那样的自信，
一种克服了艰难困苦的自信。”
为什么人们总是这样忙，压力和忙碌似乎跟成功成正比；不忙的人会感到被时光遗
弃。人不是机器，短暂的休憩很必要的。工作过於辛苦的人没有时间作大事，必须
广收博览， 人生才会有收获和转机。
Love and Land
From the Cruise and Kidman Movie:
"All the land in the world will not mean anything without you!"
"I loved you, I loved you from the first time I saw you."
"You died, you just died."
"I'll make sure I won't die the second time."
They held hands and claimed that land.
What a contrast to people today. How many can give up their career or materials to love the woman of their dreams? Do they still have these dreams? Not sure, I am not sure.
"All the land in the world will not mean anything without you!"
"I loved you, I loved you from the first time I saw you."
"You died, you just died."
"I'll make sure I won't die the second time."
They held hands and claimed that land.
What a contrast to people today. How many can give up their career or materials to love the woman of their dreams? Do they still have these dreams? Not sure, I am not sure.
Seeing Me Off at the Airport (Shanghai)
妈和婕儿送她到机场，那是世界上最好的妈！她一心为家为三个女儿，丝毫不为自己。
也只有那个年代才会有这样无私的奉献的妈。她依旧保持着五十年代人的纯朴和厚
道。
一路上她抢着背行李，生怕姜月儿劳累。快登机了，姜月儿说：要走了，抱一抱！
先是抱着妈， 她的眼泪脱眶而出。 下一次见面又不知道会是什么时候了！早些时
候婕儿提醒她说：“不要以为总会有下次，要珍惜每一次的相逢。”
她紧紧地拥抱着妈不肯松开； 直到妈催她：“好了好了，赶紧登机吧！”
她强忍着眼泪抱了婕儿， 为她奔波了十天快生病了的婕儿！留她一个人在上海她总
是不放心。妈好几次说：“带她去美国吧！”
妈和婕儿站立在机场那头，目送着她的背影消失在出境口。她依依不舍地挥手，
“再见了， 妈和小妹！今生有缘的一家人，无奈天个一方。”
姜月儿很后悔对妈有时的不耐心。她想下次一定好好补过。婕儿说得对，“不要用
你自己的观点和生活方式去衡量上一代人；不要剥夺他们的天伦之乐。”
也只有那个年代才会有这样无私的奉献的妈。她依旧保持着五十年代人的纯朴和厚
道。
一路上她抢着背行李，生怕姜月儿劳累。快登机了，姜月儿说：要走了，抱一抱！
先是抱着妈， 她的眼泪脱眶而出。 下一次见面又不知道会是什么时候了！早些时
候婕儿提醒她说：“不要以为总会有下次，要珍惜每一次的相逢。”
她紧紧地拥抱着妈不肯松开； 直到妈催她：“好了好了，赶紧登机吧！”
她强忍着眼泪抱了婕儿， 为她奔波了十天快生病了的婕儿！留她一个人在上海她总
是不放心。妈好几次说：“带她去美国吧！”
妈和婕儿站立在机场那头，目送着她的背影消失在出境口。她依依不舍地挥手，
“再见了， 妈和小妹！今生有缘的一家人，无奈天个一方。”
姜月儿很后悔对妈有时的不耐心。她想下次一定好好补过。婕儿说得对，“不要用
你自己的观点和生活方式去衡量上一代人；不要剥夺他们的天伦之乐。”
Friday, April 23, 2004
Alone and Lonely
I am often alone but rarely feel lonely, except these several days. When I am waiting for certain results or information. My life is normally full and blooming, but it's having some dry-up dates. Hold on and hang on, be positive and enjoy the loneliness, if it's part of life.
--A self-encouragement
--A self-encouragement
Blogs in China Schools (for E-Learning Editors)
Some schools are using Blogs to engage students in online discussion and writing.
The site is at: http://blog.online-edu.org/zxl/cat_blogooa.html (but most of the content is in Chinese, not sure if you read Chinese).
This School in Shanghai looks most interesting to me: http://www.liying.net.cn/
Here is their student page: http://www.liying.net.cn/student/
(Each class is writing one blog; and they have links to many other interesting online sites for children).
The site is at: http://blog.online-edu.org/zxl/cat_blogooa.html (but most of the content is in Chinese, not sure if you read Chinese).
This School in Shanghai looks most interesting to me: http://www.liying.net.cn/
Here is their student page: http://www.liying.net.cn/student/
(Each class is writing one blog; and they have links to many other interesting online sites for children).
Love Songs, Love, and Marriage
不过情歌终究只是情歌而已，它既非爱情男女的守护天使，更非婚姻缔约的金质保证书。于是先有老李抛妻弃女，留给朱卫茵一个“多么痛的领悟”，然后跟林忆莲有了他们的女儿。然后苏永康也终于宣布离婚。6年的时间说长不长，说短不短，它可以把一场美丽的邂逅升级为婚姻，也可以把一曲充满希望的《希望》唱成绝望。所谓流连夜店，所谓花费无度，所谓感情不一，所谓性格不合，不过是爱情破裂的种种借口。现代社会相爱很难，相守更难，天长地久不离不弃更是难上加难。--From Beijing Music Radio, insightful!!!
It's hard to fall in love in this modern society; it's harder to sustain the love; spending your entire lives together will be the hardest.
It's hard to fall in love in this modern society; it's harder to sustain the love; spending your entire lives together will be the hardest.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Vanished!
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Honesty and Candor with Ourselves
I loved the honesty and elegance of your statement: "You have to realize that you are one of the nicest people in the world, and I'm not." For some funny reason, I just love the self-critical candor of that statement.
Sarah M sings, "stupid could I be!"
When we are true to and self-critical about ourselves, people will forgive us.
Sarah M sings, "stupid could I be!"
When we are true to and self-critical about ourselves, people will forgive us.
Turns in Life--From a Friend
You've heard the traditional Shaker hymn:
'Tis a gift to be simple,
'Tis a gift to be free,
'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we see ourselves in a way that's right,
We will live in a valley of love and delight!
When true simplicity is gained,
To live and to love we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning
We turn 'round right
Turning. I believe it is one of the most hopeful words in our language. We human beings, by turning, can do something about the course we've taken. We may not be able to change what we've already done; and we may not be able to fully escape the consequences of past choices. But we need not continue in the same, destructive path. We can turn. We can find our way again!
Are you headed the wrong direction? Don't give up...you can always start over. You can always turn. And turn again...and again...until you come out right.
'Tis a gift to be simple,
'Tis a gift to be free,
'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we see ourselves in a way that's right,
We will live in a valley of love and delight!
When true simplicity is gained,
To live and to love we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning
We turn 'round right
Turning. I believe it is one of the most hopeful words in our language. We human beings, by turning, can do something about the course we've taken. We may not be able to change what we've already done; and we may not be able to fully escape the consequences of past choices. But we need not continue in the same, destructive path. We can turn. We can find our way again!
Are you headed the wrong direction? Don't give up...you can always start over. You can always turn. And turn again...and again...until you come out right.
With Low Expectations
Same could be said with many other things in life. For example, one would get loans easily if he proves he did not really need that loan. Perhaps the ultimate happiness lies in how one adjust his mind to embrace every situation in life? When one has low expectation on people and things in life, then most events could only come as a pleasant surprise.
