Tuesday, February 20, 2007
爱心
Friday, February 02, 2007
magenbay2
A day in Paradise
I really like the lunch and meeting people!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Minjuan's flamenco performance
Saturday, April 24, 2004
Starting a New Way of Living
All of a sudden, my soul connected to my heart and brain; an inner voice screamed, "writing!" My passion, my dream; starting from today. I have so much written already; I need to find a good publisher; one who is willing to invest in me and see me grow.
10 days before going to Paris and Sweden; forget the world, focus and write. Yes, starting now...
10 days before going to Paris and Sweden; forget the world, focus and write. Yes, starting now...
Don't Settle!
Settle, settle for anything and you're doomed. There are too many mediocre things to deal with in life and love shouldn't be one of them. Anything less than mad, passionate, extradition love is a waster of time.--From Dream of an Insomnia, Chesed's Guest book. How inspiring!
I do feel abandoned these past few days; quite silly, since it has only been a few days. But it previewed the bleak mood I'll be in when BB will be completely out one day, either by choice or taken away by God. My life will be in hopeless and miserable. It's time to detach and entangle. Refuse and refuse to be taken for granted. You are unique and special and deserves someone who is dedicated, honest, loving, and responsible; someone who always has your best benefits in heart and never make you suffer.
Yes, I went through lots of changes these few days; hard times make me stronger. That's how I get where I am today, from that rural village in China.
I do feel abandoned these past few days; quite silly, since it has only been a few days. But it previewed the bleak mood I'll be in when BB will be completely out one day, either by choice or taken away by God. My life will be in hopeless and miserable. It's time to detach and entangle. Refuse and refuse to be taken for granted. You are unique and special and deserves someone who is dedicated, honest, loving, and responsible; someone who always has your best benefits in heart and never make you suffer.
Yes, I went through lots of changes these few days; hard times make me stronger. That's how I get where I am today, from that rural village in China.
你的肩膀上有没有一只蝴蝶
在人的一生中，有些缘分是终究要失去的；
但是如果拥有一个人，就要好好去爱他。
--From Beijing Music Radio
但是如果拥有一个人，就要好好去爱他。
--From Beijing Music Radio
30岁的女人
From FHy.net
按照留学界人士的看法，30岁以上为求生活出路自费出国留学的男人非常少，他们往往不敢在一个难以回头的年龄投资数十万元以一个尴尬的身份流落他乡，到一个动荡的、陌生的世界去，因为他们输不起。在王家卫的电影《东邪西毒》里，东邪说过这样一句话：人们年轻的时候总是很想到山那边的沙漠去看一看，以为那里一定会比这边美。不过等你真的去到那边，你会发现其实每一个沙漠都是一样的。
但女人却是随时怀着对彼岸世界的想象站在此岸的边缘上，伺机出走。30岁的女人，开始感到生命太匆匆，如果在国内看不到出路，如果有勇气放弃从前所有，无论外面的世界是不是她们想象的那样，她们还是会想方设法离开。
按照留学界人士的看法，30岁以上为求生活出路自费出国留学的男人非常少，他们往往不敢在一个难以回头的年龄投资数十万元以一个尴尬的身份流落他乡，到一个动荡的、陌生的世界去，因为他们输不起。在王家卫的电影《东邪西毒》里，东邪说过这样一句话：人们年轻的时候总是很想到山那边的沙漠去看一看，以为那里一定会比这边美。不过等你真的去到那边，你会发现其实每一个沙漠都是一样的。
但女人却是随时怀着对彼岸世界的想象站在此岸的边缘上，伺机出走。30岁的女人，开始感到生命太匆匆，如果在国内看不到出路，如果有勇气放弃从前所有，无论外面的世界是不是她们想象的那样，她们还是会想方设法离开。
More about the 70s
网上还有音乐会的广告，是国内年轻一代生活的侧影。快乐至死音乐会，校园先锋，
浪漫情歌。 到底谁是这个时代的代表呢？
七十年代的一代人在这些美妙清纯的歌声里长大。是的我们走得很远，从前的船搁
浅在破旧的港湾。这些歌声却藏在心头永不退色。 它们影响了我们的成长的日子，
造就了我们单纯，快乐，善感的精神家园。
我喜欢在黄昏时分去海边。月光下的海滩一望无际， 海浪汹涌澎湃着， 有种孤帆
远影的感觉。落日把天边烧成一片红色，灿烂得梦幻一般。
浪漫情歌。 到底谁是这个时代的代表呢？
七十年代的一代人在这些美妙清纯的歌声里长大。是的我们走得很远，从前的船搁
浅在破旧的港湾。这些歌声却藏在心头永不退色。 它们影响了我们的成长的日子，
造就了我们单纯，快乐，善感的精神家园。
我喜欢在黄昏时分去海边。月光下的海滩一望无际， 海浪汹涌澎湃着， 有种孤帆
远影的感觉。落日把天边烧成一片红色，灿烂得梦幻一般。
The Best of Capitola
Still, one of my favorite shots. The ocean, the birds, and that serene morning. Life is full of soul-taking moments.
Best Photos
Thanks to Qiaoqiao, guiding me to load photos to Blog. I am going to indulge myself in travel photos for a while.
The sunrise of Shanghai JiaoTong U. I don't think people on that campus know how beautiful their sun is.-:)
The sunset of Beijing Normal U (ShiDa). I don't think they know this sunset either.
The sunrise of Shanghai JiaoTong U. I don't think people on that campus know how beautiful their sun is.-:)
The sunset of Beijing Normal U (ShiDa). I don't think they know this sunset either.
A Blogger's Comment on My Blog
"I stumble upon Ginger Moon, a blog by a Chinese who teaches at SDSU. Great read. Her writing style, especially in Chinese, is a bit ostentatious for my liking--that's probably from the literature influence of the late 80s and early 90s, but I like the palpable sensitivity, reflective thoughts and cheerful spirit in that blog's personality. And there're a lot I can echo upon too, as someone who has similar background and awareness. She is writing some novel of "Born in the 70s". Maybe there is something unique about us "born in the 70s" Chinese nomads here (see also in my Apr. 11th post).
Two nice things of being a writer (or novelist) are that 1. They don't need to set their professional life and personal life too far apart. 2. They love life, if not of their own, then at least of others'.
Her talks about Chinese schools using blogs for E-learning though have me amused. Isn't China blocking blogs? How good can a learning process be, if you don't allow free speech and information?
Above all, reading her blog makes me nostalgic about Shanghai, and its people. Maybe I'll talk about SH tomorrow."
From http://prettypig.blogspot.com/
Two nice things of being a writer (or novelist) are that 1. They don't need to set their professional life and personal life too far apart. 2. They love life, if not of their own, then at least of others'.
Her talks about Chinese schools using blogs for E-learning though have me amused. Isn't China blocking blogs? How good can a learning process be, if you don't allow free speech and information?
Above all, reading her blog makes me nostalgic about Shanghai, and its people. Maybe I'll talk about SH tomorrow."
From http://prettypig.blogspot.com/
Trip to Monterey
北加山谷和村庄的美丽在去Monterey 的路上一现无遗。有些景观象夏威夷，绿色的
毛茸茸的原野，吃草的牛儿， 和卖水果的路边小滩儿。她开着蓝色的福特在高速路
一上疾驰，迷失的时空，她不知道身在何处。
BB说：“我相信这些开车经验会让你坚强些；就像你从洛杉矶回来后那样的自信，
一种克服了艰难困苦的自信。”
为什么人们总是这样忙，压力和忙碌似乎跟成功成正比；不忙的人会感到被时光遗
弃。人不是机器，短暂的休憩很必要的。工作过於辛苦的人没有时间作大事，必须
广收博览， 人生才会有收获和转机。
毛茸茸的原野，吃草的牛儿， 和卖水果的路边小滩儿。她开着蓝色的福特在高速路
一上疾驰，迷失的时空，她不知道身在何处。
BB说：“我相信这些开车经验会让你坚强些；就像你从洛杉矶回来后那样的自信，
一种克服了艰难困苦的自信。”
为什么人们总是这样忙，压力和忙碌似乎跟成功成正比；不忙的人会感到被时光遗
弃。人不是机器，短暂的休憩很必要的。工作过於辛苦的人没有时间作大事，必须
广收博览， 人生才会有收获和转机。
Love and Land
From the Cruise and Kidman Movie:
"All the land in the world will not mean anything without you!"
"I loved you, I loved you from the first time I saw you."
"You died, you just died."
"I'll make sure I won't die the second time."
They held hands and claimed that land.
What a contrast to people today. How many can give up their career or materials to love the woman of their dreams? Do they still have these dreams? Not sure, I am not sure.
"All the land in the world will not mean anything without you!"
"I loved you, I loved you from the first time I saw you."
"You died, you just died."
"I'll make sure I won't die the second time."
They held hands and claimed that land.
What a contrast to people today. How many can give up their career or materials to love the woman of their dreams? Do they still have these dreams? Not sure, I am not sure.
Seeing Me Off at the Airport (Shanghai)
妈和婕儿送她到机场，那是世界上最好的妈！她一心为家为三个女儿，丝毫不为自己。
也只有那个年代才会有这样无私的奉献的妈。她依旧保持着五十年代人的纯朴和厚
道。
一路上她抢着背行李，生怕姜月儿劳累。快登机了，姜月儿说：要走了，抱一抱！
先是抱着妈， 她的眼泪脱眶而出。 下一次见面又不知道会是什么时候了！早些时
候婕儿提醒她说：“不要以为总会有下次，要珍惜每一次的相逢。”
她紧紧地拥抱着妈不肯松开； 直到妈催她：“好了好了，赶紧登机吧！”
她强忍着眼泪抱了婕儿， 为她奔波了十天快生病了的婕儿！留她一个人在上海她总
是不放心。妈好几次说：“带她去美国吧！”
妈和婕儿站立在机场那头，目送着她的背影消失在出境口。她依依不舍地挥手，
“再见了， 妈和小妹！今生有缘的一家人，无奈天个一方。”
姜月儿很后悔对妈有时的不耐心。她想下次一定好好补过。婕儿说得对，“不要用
你自己的观点和生活方式去衡量上一代人；不要剥夺他们的天伦之乐。”
也只有那个年代才会有这样无私的奉献的妈。她依旧保持着五十年代人的纯朴和厚
道。
一路上她抢着背行李，生怕姜月儿劳累。快登机了，姜月儿说：要走了，抱一抱！
先是抱着妈， 她的眼泪脱眶而出。 下一次见面又不知道会是什么时候了！早些时
候婕儿提醒她说：“不要以为总会有下次，要珍惜每一次的相逢。”
她紧紧地拥抱着妈不肯松开； 直到妈催她：“好了好了，赶紧登机吧！”
她强忍着眼泪抱了婕儿， 为她奔波了十天快生病了的婕儿！留她一个人在上海她总
是不放心。妈好几次说：“带她去美国吧！”
妈和婕儿站立在机场那头，目送着她的背影消失在出境口。她依依不舍地挥手，
“再见了， 妈和小妹！今生有缘的一家人，无奈天个一方。”
姜月儿很后悔对妈有时的不耐心。她想下次一定好好补过。婕儿说得对，“不要用
你自己的观点和生活方式去衡量上一代人；不要剥夺他们的天伦之乐。”
Friday, April 23, 2004
Alone and Lonely
I am often alone but rarely feel lonely, except these several days. When I am waiting for certain results or information. My life is normally full and blooming, but it's having some dry-up dates. Hold on and hang on, be positive and enjoy the loneliness, if it's part of life.
--A self-encouragement
--A self-encouragement
Blogs in China Schools (for E-Learning Editors)
Some schools are using Blogs to engage students in online discussion and writing.
The site is at: http://blog.online-edu.org/zxl/cat_blogooa.html (but most of the content is in Chinese, not sure if you read Chinese).
This School in Shanghai looks most interesting to me: http://www.liying.net.cn/
Here is their student page: http://www.liying.net.cn/student/
(Each class is writing one blog; and they have links to many other interesting online sites for children).
The site is at: http://blog.online-edu.org/zxl/cat_blogooa.html (but most of the content is in Chinese, not sure if you read Chinese).
This School in Shanghai looks most interesting to me: http://www.liying.net.cn/
Here is their student page: http://www.liying.net.cn/student/
(Each class is writing one blog; and they have links to many other interesting online sites for children).
Love Songs, Love, and Marriage
不过情歌终究只是情歌而已，它既非爱情男女的守护天使，更非婚姻缔约的金质保证书。于是先有老李抛妻弃女，留给朱卫茵一个“多么痛的领悟”，然后跟林忆莲有了他们的女儿。然后苏永康也终于宣布离婚。6年的时间说长不长，说短不短，它可以把一场美丽的邂逅升级为婚姻，也可以把一曲充满希望的《希望》唱成绝望。所谓流连夜店，所谓花费无度，所谓感情不一，所谓性格不合，不过是爱情破裂的种种借口。现代社会相爱很难，相守更难，天长地久不离不弃更是难上加难。--From Beijing Music Radio, insightful!!!
It's hard to fall in love in this modern society; it's harder to sustain the love; spending your entire lives together will be the hardest.
It's hard to fall in love in this modern society; it's harder to sustain the love; spending your entire lives together will be the hardest.
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Vanished!
Sunday, April 04, 2004
Honesty and Candor with Ourselves
I loved the honesty and elegance of your statement: "You have to realize that you are one of the nicest people in the world, and I'm not." For some funny reason, I just love the self-critical candor of that statement.
Sarah M sings, "stupid could I be!"
When we are true to and self-critical about ourselves, people will forgive us.
Sarah M sings, "stupid could I be!"
When we are true to and self-critical about ourselves, people will forgive us.
Turns in Life--From a Friend
You've heard the traditional Shaker hymn:
'Tis a gift to be simple,
'Tis a gift to be free,
'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we see ourselves in a way that's right,
We will live in a valley of love and delight!
When true simplicity is gained,
To live and to love we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning
We turn 'round right
Turning. I believe it is one of the most hopeful words in our language. We human beings, by turning, can do something about the course we've taken. We may not be able to change what we've already done; and we may not be able to fully escape the consequences of past choices. But we need not continue in the same, destructive path. We can turn. We can find our way again!
Are you headed the wrong direction? Don't give up...you can always start over. You can always turn. And turn again...and again...until you come out right.
'Tis a gift to be simple,
'Tis a gift to be free,
'Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we see ourselves in a way that's right,
We will live in a valley of love and delight!
When true simplicity is gained,
To live and to love we will not be ashamed,
To turn and to turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning
We turn 'round right
Turning. I believe it is one of the most hopeful words in our language. We human beings, by turning, can do something about the course we've taken. We may not be able to change what we've already done; and we may not be able to fully escape the consequences of past choices. But we need not continue in the same, destructive path. We can turn. We can find our way again!
Are you headed the wrong direction? Don't give up...you can always start over. You can always turn. And turn again...and again...until you come out right.
With Low Expectations
Same could be said with many other things in life. For example, one would get loans easily if he proves he did not really need that loan. Perhaps the ultimate happiness lies in how one adjust his mind to embrace every situation in life? When one has low expectation on people and things in life, then most events could only come as a pleasant surprise.
Monday, March 29, 2004
The Human Side of Me
That day, I broke to tears, when students were giving me a hard time. I said "I gave myself to this class" and then cried and called for a break. BB called and we talked about it. "Your showing a human side and calling a break might have been -- paradoxically -- one of the best possible means of closure." He said crying is such a spontaneous and natural thing that you should not hold it back at all. It might help bring you closer to the rest of the students, showing that you really care about them.
Also, I am still a young woman; the society is trying to change me to a professional; but I have my vulnerable, artistic, and Bohemian sides. Life is more interesting with these sides.
What they say, "living well is the best revenge"; I am going to travel around the world and let life bloom. And I already have what other people are looking for in their entire life; and I have an engagement of hear of soul, which is much more meaningful than engagement for marriage.
Also, I am still a young woman; the society is trying to change me to a professional; but I have my vulnerable, artistic, and Bohemian sides. Life is more interesting with these sides.
What they say, "living well is the best revenge"; I am going to travel around the world and let life bloom. And I already have what other people are looking for in their entire life; and I have an engagement of hear of soul, which is much more meaningful than engagement for marriage.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Beausoleil: Looking Back Tomorrow
Michaeal Doucet
Love Canjun music! It makes my time of solitude festive and lively. I have to remain in solitude to get things done.
My favorite song is titled "Ma Douce Amie" (My Soft Girlfiend) and the lyrics are inside.
It's a song about adieu, "Ce Serait pour la dire adieu, Que moi, je suis pare a partir".
Who separate us
Who flow underneath my eyes
This is going to be farewell, and, I am so sad to leave
Love Canjun music! It makes my time of solitude festive and lively. I have to remain in solitude to get things done.
My favorite song is titled "Ma Douce Amie" (My Soft Girlfiend) and the lyrics are inside.
It's a song about adieu, "Ce Serait pour la dire adieu, Que moi, je suis pare a partir".
Who separate us
Who flow underneath my eyes
This is going to be farewell, and, I am so sad to leave
Be Yourself
I gave myself to teaching but there are always students who just "hate" me. Read an article on my way back from Shanghai, "There is always someone who doesn't like you!"
You have to remember to be true to yourself and others, love yourself and be yourself. But you can only be an angel to some people, to people who know how to respect you and appreciate you. Therefore, just let it go. Don't hold any miseries inside you.
You have to remember to be true to yourself and others, love yourself and be yourself. But you can only be an angel to some people, to people who know how to respect you and appreciate you. Therefore, just let it go. Don't hold any miseries inside you.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
A beautiful Song from Shanghai
那天在上海，我跟妹妹婕子逛外滩回来，有位地铁歌手在那里放声歌唱朴树的“那些
花儿”：
那片笑声让我想起我的那些花儿，在我生命的每个角落，静静为我开着
我曾以为我会永远守在她身旁，今天我们已经离去在人海茫茫
她们都老了吧，她们在哪里呀， 我们就这样，各自奔天涯
她们已经被风吹走， 散落在天涯
有些故事还没讲完那就算了吧， 那些心情在岁月中已经难分真假
如今这里荒草丛生没有了鲜花，她在曾经拥有你们的春秋和冬夏
她们都老了吧，她们还在开吗， 我们就这样，各自奔天涯
她们都老了吗， 她们在那里呀，我们就这样，各自奔天涯。拉拉拉拉拉。。， 想
她。 有些故事还没讲完，那就算了罢。。。拉拉拉拉拉。。， 想她。”
婕儿喜欢那首歌，丢给那位歌手好几块钱，“他唱得好听。”
婕儿这学期没打工，省吃俭用的，平常连三块钱的冰淇淋都不舍得买；对街头艺人
却这样大方，倒是有写象查里。
后来她常常想起呢个夜晚， 那个在外滩行走的夜晚。风冷冷地吹，婕儿跟她紧紧依
偎，她们是彼此在上海最亲的人。
花儿”：
那片笑声让我想起我的那些花儿，在我生命的每个角落，静静为我开着
我曾以为我会永远守在她身旁，今天我们已经离去在人海茫茫
她们都老了吧，她们在哪里呀， 我们就这样，各自奔天涯
她们已经被风吹走， 散落在天涯
有些故事还没讲完那就算了吧， 那些心情在岁月中已经难分真假
如今这里荒草丛生没有了鲜花，她在曾经拥有你们的春秋和冬夏
她们都老了吧，她们还在开吗， 我们就这样，各自奔天涯
她们都老了吗， 她们在那里呀，我们就这样，各自奔天涯。拉拉拉拉拉。。， 想
她。 有些故事还没讲完，那就算了罢。。。拉拉拉拉拉。。， 想她。”
婕儿喜欢那首歌，丢给那位歌手好几块钱，“他唱得好听。”
婕儿这学期没打工，省吃俭用的，平常连三块钱的冰淇淋都不舍得买；对街头艺人
却这样大方，倒是有写象查里。
后来她常常想起呢个夜晚， 那个在外滩行走的夜晚。风冷冷地吹，婕儿跟她紧紧依
偎，她们是彼此在上海最亲的人。
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Journey to Shanghai
It was a great trip, full of adventures. My life is blessed with sincere, generous, and giving people. Shanghai is an amazing city, but too many people. It's nice to be back to my quiet green corner in Southern California. See photos at: http://www.ofoto.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?showSlide=true&Uc=cg6dzr1.5qk0r4d5&Uy=-m4tfws&Upost_signin=BrowsePhotos.jsp%3fshowSlide%3dtrue&Ux=0
New hair, new image. 10-days, like a dream.
New hair, new image. 10-days, like a dream.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
A Chinese Song on NPR
Green Island Serenade
Moonlight sheds on this green island
That is where you are
Like a boat floating in the ocean of my heart
Let the wind carry my singing to you
Slipping through the blinds on your window
The shadow of the Coconut trees can't cover my love for you
The bright moonlight shines on my heart
In this cozy night of the green island
Why you still remain silent
Moonlight sheds on this green island
That is where you are
Like a boat floating in the ocean of my heart
Let the wind carry my singing to you
Slipping through the blinds on your window
The shadow of the Coconut trees can't cover my love for you
The bright moonlight shines on my heart
In this cozy night of the green island
Why you still remain silent
Friday, March 05, 2004
See you in my dreams
Lips that once to be mine
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Even if someone took you out of my arms
I can still feel the thrill of your charms
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my lonely way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Hold you in my dreams
Even if someone took you out of my arms
I can still feel the thrill of your charms
Tender eyes that shine
They will light my lonely way tonight
I’ll see you in my dreams
Thursday, March 04, 2004
You are Special!
You are one of the most special people in the entire world. Whether you get it w/o a fight, or have to delay a year, or never get it there at all is a tiny drop of water compared to the ocean of joy you bring to the world and the world of wonderful experiences that has been, is, and will be your charmed life.
--From BB.
--From BB.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Gas Lamp Tuesday
RR and I went to Sevilla. It was a clear evening; downtown is cool and less crowded. Very few people in Sevilla but still enjoyable. My favorite Flamenco singer sang by himself. RR thanked me many times for taking him there. He felt like living in a movie; the feeling I used to have -:) We had good food and wine.
We then went to a dance place on 5th ave, Jimmy's love. Okay dance but fun.
Life is too exciting to sleep over; I got lots of things to catch up today.
We then went to a dance place on 5th ave, Jimmy's love. Okay dance but fun.
Life is too exciting to sleep over; I got lots of things to catch up today.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Raining Day
Love when it rains. Like last night, working at midnight and listening to the cozy rain. RR likes rain too. He resonated with my feeling about the rain. That's a good start. We are going to Sevilla tonight, for tapas and flamenco guitarists. The two musicians are the most passionate I have even seen.
"Everything will work out," RR said last night, "I have this good feeling." I like his voice; candid and down-to-earth, like my best friend. And it feels great to be the center of someone's life.
"Everything will work out," RR said last night, "I have this good feeling." I like his voice; candid and down-to-earth, like my best friend. And it feels great to be the center of someone's life.
Monday, March 01, 2004
Good bye, my love
---Excerpt from the Novel I am writing:
Toast, honey, peanut butter, apple, and strawberry ice cream. That was breakfast. BB said he will come back for Arigato, Ciao Bella, ice cream and PF. The best for the last. Good-bye makes her sad. They listened to Bon soir 100 times, "ne manger bas; Bon soir, bon soir, mon belle..." That was their song. She loves seeing BB but good-bye tears her heart apart.
They say Bon nuit to each other every night on the computer and dreamed of the special warm cuddle. BB said he has never cuddled anyone that way in his entire life.
Toast, honey, peanut butter, apple, and strawberry ice cream. That was breakfast. BB said he will come back for Arigato, Ciao Bella, ice cream and PF. The best for the last. Good-bye makes her sad. They listened to Bon soir 100 times, "ne manger bas; Bon soir, bon soir, mon belle..." That was their song. She loves seeing BB but good-bye tears her heart apart.
They say Bon nuit to each other every night on the computer and dreamed of the special warm cuddle. BB said he has never cuddled anyone that way in his entire life.
A Moment of "Chaoes"
That cool Saturday evening, we stood on the sidewalk of Mission Beach, eating Mocha Almond Fudge and watching "Chaoes". That was a silly ride, somewhat like the rollercoaster but for younger kids. Riders feel warm and fuzzy for a while and then begin to scream. It was a moment.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Trip to Berkeley!
I loved Berkeley! First, meeting RR on air; talked all the way. Watched Golden Bridge from the airplane; RR pointed to me where he grew up. He wished that he was not going to SL. That sincerity was very touching. He also gave me some changes to take BART.
Met BS at Berkeley. I told him the sky in San Diego is blue and my name means a beautiful moon. His day was brightened. He felt like meeting someone from a storybook. The second day several of us took a long walk in San F and danced in the starlight room. It was a fun night.
Counting days, 12 days to Shanghai. Life is going to be crazy and intensive, but I enjoy living it.
Met BS at Berkeley. I told him the sky in San Diego is blue and my name means a beautiful moon. His day was brightened. He felt like meeting someone from a storybook. The second day several of us took a long walk in San F and danced in the starlight room. It was a fun night.
Counting days, 12 days to Shanghai. Life is going to be crazy and intensive, but I enjoy living it.
A Walk Under the Star
Sunday, February 15, 2004
That Special Moment
"Waiting for that special moment. When you kiss this person, the whole world becomes hazy. The only focus is you and that person. You want to laugh, you want to cry. You're so glad that you found it, but you are also afraid that it's going to go away."
--A line from "Never been kissed"
--A line from "Never been kissed"
Saturday, February 14, 2004
The Sound of Life
I heard the sound of life and I smelled its aroma, this Saturday. Birds are chirping on the trees in my community; white flower pedals falling in the warm wind. "I remain in the moment and go with the flow. My mind is filled with peace and love."
The power went out last night, so I read and exercised in the candle light. BB did not know about the power maintenance, and he said, "what do you need the candles for?" So things did not add up again. It gave me a good laugh.
I "yelled" at him in email; I could not figure out some data. But then I was very regretful about my behavior. He was not upset. Instead, he said, "be good to yourself today."
A card arrived in a red envelop, a red hot tomato.-:) Life is made up of poetic senses and moments.
The power went out last night, so I read and exercised in the candle light. BB did not know about the power maintenance, and he said, "what do you need the candles for?" So things did not add up again. It gave me a good laugh.
I "yelled" at him in email; I could not figure out some data. But then I was very regretful about my behavior. He was not upset. Instead, he said, "be good to yourself today."
A card arrived in a red envelop, a red hot tomato.-:) Life is made up of poetic senses and moments.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
In the Bleak Mid-Winter
I love this song. Sung by Christie H. and Richard Thompson, from Alabama.
"In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone
Snow had fallen, snow on snow
Snow on snow
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago
Angels and archangels
May have gathered there
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air
But only his mother
In her maiden bliss
Worshipped the beloved
With a kiss
What can I give him
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
Yet what I can I give him
Give my heart
In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
Yet what I can I give him?
Give my heart "
--Cited from a lyrics site
"In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone
Snow had fallen, snow on snow
Snow on snow
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago
Angels and archangels
May have gathered there
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air
But only his mother
In her maiden bliss
Worshipped the beloved
With a kiss
What can I give him
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
Yet what I can I give him
Give my heart
In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron
Water like a stone
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
Yet what I can I give him?
Give my heart "
--Cited from a lyrics site
Friday, February 06, 2004
Spring is here!
The very young spring of February, 2004, Southern California. Flowers are blooming on trees outside my window. So many exciting things, so hard to focus!
Named my laptop bb and pf. One day the screen says, "turn off bb and pf". B is bee, Pf is flower. Characters from my novel.
BB is in a show this weekt. PF will be imagining his performance. He will do well!
Named my laptop bb and pf. One day the screen says, "turn off bb and pf". B is bee, Pf is flower. Characters from my novel.
BB is in a show this weekt. PF will be imagining his performance. He will do well!
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Describing Amour
Like drops of water in the pacific, like grains of sand falling onto a beach, like stars in the sky. Inspired by..
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Wiki Site
Here is my own Wiki Sandbox:
http://organicallydigital.com/compswiki/index.php/Comps/WangMinjuan
organicallydigital.com/compswiki/index.php/Comps/NotesFromMinjuan
For class use. I am going to start a wiki for each of my class. It will be interesting!
http://organicallydigital.com/compswiki/index.php/Comps/WangMinjuan
organicallydigital.com/compswiki/index.php/Comps/NotesFromMinjuan
For class use. I am going to start a wiki for each of my class. It will be interesting!
Saturday, January 31, 2004
The split of me!
I have been writing and thinking about shanghai: my body is in San Diego, my soul is with BB, and my mind is in Shanghai.
Here are some photos: http://www.geocities.com/tsiktsikcb/picshanghai.html
Enjoy! The little Paris of Asia, I can't wait to see it. Ah, life is so good, like sunshine, like moon.
Here are some photos: http://www.geocities.com/tsiktsikcb/picshanghai.html
Enjoy! The little Paris of Asia, I can't wait to see it. Ah, life is so good, like sunshine, like moon.
Intensive living!
That's how I have been feeling all these years. Lived intensively, one day used as two days. Have no idea why, just enjoy being this way.
Quite excited now! Just booked tickets to Shanghai, spring break. It's going to be a short and memorable spring. I began to dream about China; and I have never been to Shanghai. My sister will meet me at the gate, with lots of flowers in her hands, I hope.
Also, some of the dramas I wrote in my novel are playing out in reality. Told BB life changes as we speak. But, Je suis ici pour toi tour le jour! Enjoy every moment of life.
Quite excited now! Just booked tickets to Shanghai, spring break. It's going to be a short and memorable spring. I began to dream about China; and I have never been to Shanghai. My sister will meet me at the gate, with lots of flowers in her hands, I hope.
Also, some of the dramas I wrote in my novel are playing out in reality. Told BB life changes as we speak. But, Je suis ici pour toi tour le jour! Enjoy every moment of life.
Friday, January 30, 2004
Life like a Gipsy!
Life has lots of good moments; they make my heart sing! This winter, there was one special Saturday night. It was very cold outside, and I stood at the bar counter of a club in Northern CA. The band was really good and the songs were touching.
And then BB walked in unexpectedly. He dressed in his back leather coat, shining like a star in the clear eve. sky. He looked so much like George Colony. They bear amazing resemblance but BB looks better. He has that special inner glow, above all the pettiness, almost regal. His glow and my “youthful exuberance” (as he said) added up. We hopped from club to club, dancing Salsa, tango, and swing. A young man looked at us and said, “you are such a radical couple.”
It has been a fairy tale and will be for ever. The best things in life can be experienced but not owned. I asked BB to freeze many of the moments and keep them for me in a bottle. Whenever I feel blue, I will pour some happiness from that bottle. But that will be a dream. So here it ends:
Dreamy, dreamy, living life like a gipsy.
And then BB walked in unexpectedly. He dressed in his back leather coat, shining like a star in the clear eve. sky. He looked so much like George Colony. They bear amazing resemblance but BB looks better. He has that special inner glow, above all the pettiness, almost regal. His glow and my “youthful exuberance” (as he said) added up. We hopped from club to club, dancing Salsa, tango, and swing. A young man looked at us and said, “you are such a radical couple.”
It has been a fairy tale and will be for ever. The best things in life can be experienced but not owned. I asked BB to freeze many of the moments and keep them for me in a bottle. Whenever I feel blue, I will pour some happiness from that bottle. But that will be a dream. So here it ends:
Dreamy, dreamy, living life like a gipsy.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Seeing the World, Living like a Princess
Many women waited their entire life to be a princess, the romance and comforts someone else bring to them. It never happened. This year I will stop searching and create a fairy tale for myself. Busy-bee said, "and that you are destined to dance, travel, and write, experiencing a depth of feeling that the others don't dare to explore. I would be honored to be a life-long friend of such a person. "
I am lucky to have busy-bee (BB). He is always there on email, listening, responding, and encouraging, the mate de mon coeur.-:)
I am lucky to have busy-bee (BB). He is always there on email, listening, responding, and encouraging, the mate de mon coeur.-:)
Resetting my "Button"
I have not been in a good mood, because of the hectic daily lives, comparing to the pure writing and faire tale life I had this winter. However, I don't mind going through these ups and downs; they push me to reflect, think, and act to change. The crisis-opportunity logic. Pain is better than numb and indifference.
I don't know what to change yet, but changes will reveal one day. Not house-cleaning, maybe lifestyle--not to confine myself so much to work; dress up and go out to explore. Living like a princess, not a housewife, a mother, a cook, or any other mundane woman. {Since I already buried many of my youthful days in academic work, goals and objectives.} Now they are on track, I should digress! Maybe try some weekend getaways; bring my laptop and write. If so, the next city before Berkeley will be San Francisco.
A friend responded to my note:
You have an unusual talent for self-awareness and self-reflection, which puts you way ahead of the game. Just be aware that the year before tenure-review is so high-pressure that it makes everyone crazy. Still, you seem to be on to something: you've worked so hard throughout your youth, that you are due to live a good life and explore your passions. Lucky for you, you still have the appearance and medical age of a teenager! New Orleans is not a bad choice, but I'm not sure it would be at the top of my list for a weekend getaway. Before that maybe S.F., S.C., or just exploring some part of Southern California (road trip) you haven't seen before. But New Orleans is nicely "different" if you want a change of scene. Given this need for wanderlust and exploration, I would say that your previous year was really successful -- you haven't been wasting time!
I don't know what to change yet, but changes will reveal one day. Not house-cleaning, maybe lifestyle--not to confine myself so much to work; dress up and go out to explore. Living like a princess, not a housewife, a mother, a cook, or any other mundane woman. {Since I already buried many of my youthful days in academic work, goals and objectives.} Now they are on track, I should digress! Maybe try some weekend getaways; bring my laptop and write. If so, the next city before Berkeley will be San Francisco.
A friend responded to my note:
You have an unusual talent for self-awareness and self-reflection, which puts you way ahead of the game. Just be aware that the year before tenure-review is so high-pressure that it makes everyone crazy. Still, you seem to be on to something: you've worked so hard throughout your youth, that you are due to live a good life and explore your passions. Lucky for you, you still have the appearance and medical age of a teenager! New Orleans is not a bad choice, but I'm not sure it would be at the top of my list for a weekend getaway. Before that maybe S.F., S.C., or just exploring some part of Southern California (road trip) you haven't seen before. But New Orleans is nicely "different" if you want a change of scene. Given this need for wanderlust and exploration, I would say that your previous year was really successful -- you haven't been wasting time!
Thursday, January 15, 2004
A beautiful Song
从没有对你说，我忍受着孤独漂泊
只因为不放弃，从前许下的诚诺
怎么样的生活，无法停止我心中的火
你是否能感觉，对你的爱我从没变过
我会忍不住把心给你
快乐和眼泪，在未来未来的未来
你能否能否看得见，我深情到心碎
幸福和疲惫，在未来未来的未来
这世界世界都听见，我寂寞的誓言
我爱你
--水木年华
From A in-progress Novel:
2004年的春天到了，姜月儿却常常想起冬天里的那个壁炉，那个或许再不会有的壁炉；
温情，浪漫，火热，甜蜜痛苦笼罩着她，象多云的天气。世俗的生活这样无味，想念的日子非常难过。她在爱de记忆里迷失了；这种迷失
和南加州快节奏的物质金钱世界格格不入，更增加了她的痛苦。她要作时代的弄潮
儿，却找不到时代在哪里。
到底要追求什么呢？是物质的丰裕还是跟物质无关的梦想。是要随波逐流呢还是要
保持自己的风格，象那样，到处散发着艺术的光芒。
只因为不放弃，从前许下的诚诺
怎么样的生活，无法停止我心中的火
你是否能感觉，对你的爱我从没变过
我会忍不住把心给你
快乐和眼泪，在未来未来的未来
你能否能否看得见，我深情到心碎
幸福和疲惫，在未来未来的未来
这世界世界都听见，我寂寞的誓言
我爱你
--水木年华
From A in-progress Novel:
2004年的春天到了，姜月儿却常常想起冬天里的那个壁炉，那个或许再不会有的壁炉；
温情，浪漫，火热，甜蜜痛苦笼罩着她，象多云的天气。世俗的生活这样无味，想念的日子非常难过。她在爱de记忆里迷失了；这种迷失
和南加州快节奏的物质金钱世界格格不入，更增加了她的痛苦。她要作时代的弄潮
儿，却找不到时代在哪里。
到底要追求什么呢？是物质的丰裕还是跟物质无关的梦想。是要随波逐流呢还是要
保持自己的风格，象那样，到处散发着艺术的光芒。
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Wonderful Trip!
It was a splendid trip; many surprises and everything turned out well. I had a 2-bedroom suite right on the beach, with a fireplace. I picked up some woods on the beach and have someone light the fire for me every night. Sitting in front of the fire, reading a book and writing a novel, it was very cozy.
Also, danced everything, swing, salsa, tango, and rumba. People support musicians in this town; every club is packed with fans and music and dance lovers. I adored that bluegrass bans at a cafe house.
See photos here: http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=cg6dzr1.176kavyl&x=0&y=-ph1899
Click "View Photos". There are quite a few glamorous shots.
I wrote so much during this trip. Now I am going to try have it published this year, so I can buy that unit I stayed. -:)
Also, danced everything, swing, salsa, tango, and rumba. People support musicians in this town; every club is packed with fans and music and dance lovers. I adored that bluegrass bans at a cafe house.
See photos here: http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=cg6dzr1.176kavyl&x=0&y=-ph1899
Click "View Photos". There are quite a few glamorous shots.
I wrote so much during this trip. Now I am going to try have it published this year, so I can buy that unit I stayed. -:)
Thursday, January 01, 2004
Happy New Year!
I am on my way to the beaches and red woods. Yeap! My new year started with a one-week get-away. So excited! Last year I went to Hawaii and lots of good things happened. Life is a process of continuous exploration and a series of adventures.
Resolution? Time management: Learn not to do trivial things and get focused!
Wish you a happy and healthy new year. I will write more when back.
Resolution? Time management: Learn not to do trivial things and get focused!
Wish you a happy and healthy new year. I will write more when back.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Research Use
You don't have to read this one. I am using this piece to help me organize a research project: Yeap! Work invades life all the time. But as Alex said, "you have to find life in your work."
Blog and Wiki talk in China
LLT Blog and Wiki source
From Shiliang
A weblog reader page
Wiki Design principles
blogtalk.net
Weblogs and Discourse
CNBLOG group
Wikipedian
http://www.socialtext.net/ssa/index.cgi?Existing%20Standards?
http://www.isaacmao.com/weblogs/cesblog/?
http://www.cnblog.org/blog/
A group of E-learning Bloggers in China
Build your own Wiki Community
Meatball Wiki
Blog and Wiki talk in China
LLT Blog and Wiki source
From Shiliang
A weblog reader page
Wiki Design principles
blogtalk.net
Weblogs and Discourse
CNBLOG group
Wikipedian
http://www.socialtext.net/ssa/index.cgi?Existing%20Standards?
http://www.isaacmao.com/weblogs/cesblog/?
http://www.cnblog.org/blog/
A group of E-learning Bloggers in China
Build your own Wiki Community
Meatball Wiki
圣诞节快乐
头一个哪儿都没去呆在家里的圣诞节；因为前几天去的聚会太多了，也因为过两天
就要去 Santa-Cruz 和旧金山了。夜色初上的时候在街上走了一趟，到处是闪烁辉
煌的圣诞灯火。圣诞节是美国人心中的童话和神话，就象中国人的中秋和端午。
家是个温柔的小窝；很高兴有这个独自创建的家；这大概是新一代女性的特色。结
婚生子不再是生活的主流，忙着快乐，旅行，和多彩的总在变的生活。半夜时下雨
了，雨点敲打着屋顶和天窗。点起一只巨大的蜡烛，玫瑰水香的；倒了一杯 Jacob
Creek's Shiraz, 在深夜里写作。我是个时间的盗儿。
圣地亚哥很少有这样灰蒙蒙的雨天，因此很自匿舒适。在家写作，看雨，听圣诞节
的歌声在收音机里飘扬。日子这样好！晚上要跟 Alex 去 Cafe Sevilla, 我最喜欢
的西班牙餐馆和音乐/舞巴。我会坐在靠墙的角落里听热情的 Flemenco 弹唱，看街
上的人来人往。 圣地亚哥是一个有灵魂和独特魅力的城市，尤其是夜晚，这样多的
人们在尽情地安他们自己的方式庆祝生活。
就要去 Santa-Cruz 和旧金山了。夜色初上的时候在街上走了一趟，到处是闪烁辉
煌的圣诞灯火。圣诞节是美国人心中的童话和神话，就象中国人的中秋和端午。
家是个温柔的小窝；很高兴有这个独自创建的家；这大概是新一代女性的特色。结
婚生子不再是生活的主流，忙着快乐，旅行，和多彩的总在变的生活。半夜时下雨
了，雨点敲打着屋顶和天窗。点起一只巨大的蜡烛，玫瑰水香的；倒了一杯 Jacob
Creek's Shiraz, 在深夜里写作。我是个时间的盗儿。
圣地亚哥很少有这样灰蒙蒙的雨天，因此很自匿舒适。在家写作，看雨，听圣诞节
的歌声在收音机里飘扬。日子这样好！晚上要跟 Alex 去 Cafe Sevilla, 我最喜欢
的西班牙餐馆和音乐/舞巴。我会坐在靠墙的角落里听热情的 Flemenco 弹唱，看街
上的人来人往。 圣地亚哥是一个有灵魂和独特魅力的城市，尤其是夜晚，这样多的
人们在尽情地安他们自己的方式庆祝生活。
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Behind My Dreams!
Human beings have a deep need for novelty. People who are living happy lives are constantly pushing the envelope and playing out at the frontiers. They are constantly stretching themselves and trying new things. When we were kids, we loved adventure. Life was a game and we were not frightened to experience the unexpected. And in doing so, we grew on a daily basis and happiness filled our hearts.
--From a friend
My response:
Yes, learn to know ourselves at the deepest level. Listen to our inner voice and let ourself be taken away by creativity. Let our emotions and imagination fly. Once a while, allow yourself to be wild, childish, radical, and emotional.
This morning, watching the green tea leaves floating in the glass, I said to myself, "I am really behind my dreams."
Work and live like a holistic human being, not a machine.
--From a friend
My response:
Yes, learn to know ourselves at the deepest level. Listen to our inner voice and let ourself be taken away by creativity. Let our emotions and imagination fly. Once a while, allow yourself to be wild, childish, radical, and emotional.
This morning, watching the green tea leaves floating in the glass, I said to myself, "I am really behind my dreams."
Work and live like a holistic human being, not a machine.
Monday, December 22, 2003
Bridge of the Madison County
This movie swept China a few years ago; loved and adored by the middle-aged generation. Here are some words worthy knowing:
"What Robert and I had couldn't continue if we were together; What Richard and I shared would not vanish even if we were apart. Love wouldn't obey our expectations.
Robert is the lover and Richard is the husband. She had her dreams but she had to give it away.
[Reworded] But he [Rob] is right. We are not two people anymore. We are bond as close as possible. And he sustained me all these years.
They "crammed" their entire lives in that few days, to passionate love and pure affection. The dress she wore when having dinner with him, she wouldn't wear it anymore. Because it has become almost a wedding gown for her.
"What Robert and I had couldn't continue if we were together; What Richard and I shared would not vanish even if we were apart. Love wouldn't obey our expectations.
Robert is the lover and Richard is the husband. She had her dreams but she had to give it away.
[Reworded] But he [Rob] is right. We are not two people anymore. We are bond as close as possible. And he sustained me all these years.
They "crammed" their entire lives in that few days, to passionate love and pure affection. The dress she wore when having dinner with him, she wouldn't wear it anymore. Because it has become almost a wedding gown for her.
Message in A Bottle
This movie is soul-touching. And I am big fan of Kevin Lastname? He is so cool so down to earth. Also, a tragical ending; not very typical Hollywood. Here are some words:
"Oh and every time I'm close to you, there's too much I can't say.
And you just walk away. And I forgot to tell you, I love you
And the night's too long and cold here without you
I grieve in my condition for cannot find the words to say I need you so
If some lives form a perfect circle, others take shapes in ways which I can't understand;
Loss has been part of my journey,
So has a love for which I can only be grateful."
Beautiful cinematography, the banks of the Atlantic, light house, sunset, and the two cuddled on the beach. She found him, through a message in a bottle. A fairy tale everyone knows, but beautifully played out in a realistic way.
I couldn't go to sleep; I cried and am also inspired to write a touching story. I might begin it today. The book the movie was based on isn't big. That's the way to go! Write something that can be moved to the screen.
"Oh and every time I'm close to you, there's too much I can't say.
And you just walk away. And I forgot to tell you, I love you
And the night's too long and cold here without you
I grieve in my condition for cannot find the words to say I need you so
If some lives form a perfect circle, others take shapes in ways which I can't understand;
Loss has been part of my journey,
So has a love for which I can only be grateful."
Beautiful cinematography, the banks of the Atlantic, light house, sunset, and the two cuddled on the beach. She found him, through a message in a bottle. A fairy tale everyone knows, but beautifully played out in a realistic way.
I couldn't go to sleep; I cried and am also inspired to write a touching story. I might begin it today. The book the movie was based on isn't big. That's the way to go! Write something that can be moved to the screen.
Sunday, December 21, 2003
10 days to the New Year
I am going to do a final dash--all kinds of cleaning and preparing. It's nice to come to an end and start something new. Like achieving a milestone.
This might be one of my best years, travelling (Oahu, Kauai, Davis, SAC, LA, Long Beach, Santa-Barbara, The Red Woods, D.C., Orlando, Arizona twice, Catalina Island).
The true love many never experience; two novels on the way; lots of wonderful students; many memorable dances--tango, salsa, and swing.
Still I will write new year resolutions. Until later.
This might be one of my best years, travelling (Oahu, Kauai, Davis, SAC, LA, Long Beach, Santa-Barbara, The Red Woods, D.C., Orlando, Arizona twice, Catalina Island).
The true love many never experience; two novels on the way; lots of wonderful students; many memorable dances--tango, salsa, and swing.
Still I will write new year resolutions. Until later.
Saturday, December 20, 2003
自由的生活
放假的最大好处就是自由，完全的身心自由。思绪象鸟一样放飞，很多时候不知道作
什么好，因为可作的太多了：读书， 写作，上网，装饰房子，跳舞，购物，烹调。。。
日子就这样过去。不知道那些有家有口的女人们是怎么平衡她们的生活的。
上海的小学生们认为他们的妈妈身上油烟味太重，我觉不想成为这些妈妈中的一员。
学一学西方女人吧，她们事业生活两不耽误。人到中年了依旧活泼漂亮象鲜亮的公
主，秘诀在于：不失去自己！
美丽的女人很多，但高雅如清水芙蓉的不多。那样的女人总是鹤立鸡群，她们美而
不自傲；似乎美只是她们的点缀，内在的热情诗情才是最重要的。
我昨天在写红杉林中的爱情故事时，远方的瑞棋似乎感觉到了。他说一直在想着我，
想着那个迷人的夏天。我们每年只见几次，但每次都象蜜月。尤其是在北加的那个
小镇，他牵着我的手在夏天的黄昏走过。街头到处是音乐家，我们旁若无人地跳舞，
Salsa 和阿根廷探戈。他曾经是专业的 Flemenco dancer; 我实在三生有幸。况且
他象 George Colony 一样英俊潇洒。这么多年了，他是唯一一个读我写给他的小说
并且字字记在心里的人。这大概是我一生中最真诚，最浪漫，最梦幻般的恋爱了。
这种恋情毫无目的，只任热情燃烧。 下一部小说的名字该是-<<-激情燃烧的岁
月>>。
象珍儿那样耐得住寂寞，献身给自己的追求和梦想。这也是我们七十年代人的特质。
女人的美也是跟化妆品没关系的，内在的诗胜过外在的涂沫
什么好，因为可作的太多了：读书， 写作，上网，装饰房子，跳舞，购物，烹调。。。
日子就这样过去。不知道那些有家有口的女人们是怎么平衡她们的生活的。
上海的小学生们认为他们的妈妈身上油烟味太重，我觉不想成为这些妈妈中的一员。
学一学西方女人吧，她们事业生活两不耽误。人到中年了依旧活泼漂亮象鲜亮的公
主，秘诀在于：不失去自己！
美丽的女人很多，但高雅如清水芙蓉的不多。那样的女人总是鹤立鸡群，她们美而
不自傲；似乎美只是她们的点缀，内在的热情诗情才是最重要的。
我昨天在写红杉林中的爱情故事时，远方的瑞棋似乎感觉到了。他说一直在想着我，
想着那个迷人的夏天。我们每年只见几次，但每次都象蜜月。尤其是在北加的那个
小镇，他牵着我的手在夏天的黄昏走过。街头到处是音乐家，我们旁若无人地跳舞，
Salsa 和阿根廷探戈。他曾经是专业的 Flemenco dancer; 我实在三生有幸。况且
他象 George Colony 一样英俊潇洒。这么多年了，他是唯一一个读我写给他的小说
并且字字记在心里的人。这大概是我一生中最真诚，最浪漫，最梦幻般的恋爱了。
这种恋情毫无目的，只任热情燃烧。 下一部小说的名字该是-<<-激情燃烧的岁
月>>。
象珍儿那样耐得住寂寞，献身给自己的追求和梦想。这也是我们七十年代人的特质。
女人的美也是跟化妆品没关系的，内在的诗胜过外在的涂沫
初恋的诗
We do think of ourselves as princess. That's silly but also prevents us from being too "real." Here are some poems I wrote in my first love. Can't imagine I used to think that way. But proud of my "pure emotion" too:
初恋的诗
我的胸怀真是一片清新的草原，能放牧你绵长悠远的梦么？
你是晨曦，我的灵魂是原野。 因为你的原因，我的树苑盛开你最柔美的花儿， 在
晓风中芬芳。
你是布谷，我的心灵是小溪，因了你的缘故，我的浪花在憧憬中潺潺流淌。
你软软的情思，融化了我的魂与魄，我觉得我在飘飞，变成了一挂很美很美的瀑布。
为什么
我可以锁住我的笔， 却锁不住爱的忧伤。
为什么欢乐总是乍现就凋落，走得最急的总是最美好的时光。
一定有些什么， 在叶落之后，是我所必须放弃的
是十八岁和三十岁的日记里， 还是我藏了一生的那些美丽的如白合般的秘密。
他怔怔地望着我，脸色很平静，往事如树叶筛漏的阳光一样斑驳在他的额头。 他淡
略地说了那无望的未来，她的夜空已经没有月色了。
所有的结局都已经写好，她们的故事总有一天要结束。在人生的长河里，他们是两
颗小雨滴，偶尔遇合在一起，又要匆匆分离。只有初次相逢的 那道情绪的波流，萦
绕着我孤寂的心灵，知道把你忘却。
他们头顶一片阴云密布的天空，在自己编织的茅草棚下，做着仲夏夜的梦。
她是一道很美很美的瀑布，纯洁，清灵， 飘逸；他是淘渊名笔下的田园诗， 宁静
温馨，纯朴自然； 读你千遍也不厌倦
初恋的诗
我的胸怀真是一片清新的草原，能放牧你绵长悠远的梦么？
你是晨曦，我的灵魂是原野。 因为你的原因，我的树苑盛开你最柔美的花儿， 在
晓风中芬芳。
你是布谷，我的心灵是小溪，因了你的缘故，我的浪花在憧憬中潺潺流淌。
你软软的情思，融化了我的魂与魄，我觉得我在飘飞，变成了一挂很美很美的瀑布。
为什么
我可以锁住我的笔， 却锁不住爱的忧伤。
为什么欢乐总是乍现就凋落，走得最急的总是最美好的时光。
一定有些什么， 在叶落之后，是我所必须放弃的
是十八岁和三十岁的日记里， 还是我藏了一生的那些美丽的如白合般的秘密。
他怔怔地望着我，脸色很平静，往事如树叶筛漏的阳光一样斑驳在他的额头。 他淡
略地说了那无望的未来，她的夜空已经没有月色了。
所有的结局都已经写好，她们的故事总有一天要结束。在人生的长河里，他们是两
颗小雨滴，偶尔遇合在一起，又要匆匆分离。只有初次相逢的 那道情绪的波流，萦
绕着我孤寂的心灵，知道把你忘却。
他们头顶一片阴云密布的天空，在自己编织的茅草棚下，做着仲夏夜的梦。
她是一道很美很美的瀑布，纯洁，清灵， 飘逸；他是淘渊名笔下的田园诗， 宁静
温馨，纯朴自然； 读你千遍也不厌倦
Thursday, December 18, 2003
Discovered a new World
http://blog.online-edu.org/weblog/
题：被称为世上最经典的25句话 | 回响 (0)
□来源：Time 2 Learn
□作者：david □时间：December 18, 2003 05:25 PM
□内容：
前不久访问“E-Learning心法”，看到其中的“嘉言集锦”，哑然失笑，引子是“計畫永遠趕不上變化，變化比不上長官的一句話”，引出的还有“快樂不是因為擁有的多，而是計較的少。”“經驗不是一個人的遭遇，而是他如何面對自己的遭遇。”等。碰巧今天又收到同事的电子邮件，觉得亦有同样智慧。不过世间事从来知易行难，座右铭也不过一条，总归要一堑一堑地吃下去，才能长一点点智慧啊。
被称为世上最经典的25句话
送交者: 冬云 2003年12月16日16:21:15 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com
１，记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的。改变能改变的，接受不能改变的。
２，能冲刷一切的除了眼泪，就是时间，以时间来推移感情，时间越长，冲突越 淡，仿佛不断稀释的茶。
３，怨言是上天得至人类最大的供物，也是人类祷告中最真诚的部分。
４，智慧的代价是矛盾。这是人生对人生观开的玩笑。
５，世上的姑娘总以为自己是骄傲的公主（除了少数极丑和少数极聪明的姑娘例外）。
６，如果敌人让你生气，那说明你还没有胜他的把握。
７，如果朋友让你生气，那说明你仍然在意他的友情。
８，令狐冲说“有些事情本身我们无法控制，只好控制自己。”
９，我不知道我现在做的哪些是对的，那些是错的，而当我终于老死的时候我才知道这些。所以我现在所能做的就是尽力做好待着老死。
１０，也许有些人很可恶，有些人很卑鄙。而当我设身为他想象的时候，我才知道：他比我还可怜。所以请原谅所有你见过的人，好人或者坏人。
１１，鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里．水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里。
１２，快乐要有悲伤作陪，雨过应该就有天晴。如果雨后还是雨，如果忧伤之后还是忧伤．请让我们从容面对这离别之后的离别。微笑地去寻找一个不可能出现的你！
１３，死亡教会人一切，如同考试之后公布的结果——虽然恍然大悟，但为时晚矣~！
１４，你出生的时候，你哭着，周围的人笑着；你逝去的时候，你笑着，而周围的人在哭！一切都是轮回!!!! 我们都在轮回中!!!!
１５，男人在结婚前觉得适合自己的女人很少，结婚后觉得适合自己的女人很多。
１６，于千万人之中，遇见你所遇见的人；于千万年之中，时间的无涯荒野里，没有早一步，也没有晚一步，刚巧赶上了 。
１７，每个人都有潜在的能量，只是很容易:被习惯所掩盖，被时间所迷离,被惰性所消磨。
１８，人生短短几十年，不要给自己留下了什么遗憾，想笑就笑，想哭就哭，该爱的时候就去爱，无谓压抑自己。
１９，《和平年代》里的话：当幻想和现实面对时，总是很痛苦的。要么你被痛苦击倒，要么你把痛苦踩在脚下。
２０，真正的爱情是不讲究热闹不讲究排场不讲究繁华更不讲究嚎头的。
２１，生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？
２２，我们确实活得艰难，一要承受种种外部的压力，更要面对自己内心的困惑。在苦苦挣扎中，如果有人向你投以理解的目光，你会感到一种生命的暖意，或许仅有短暂的一瞥，就足以使我感奋不已。
２３，我不去想是否能够成功,既然选择了远方,便只顾风雨兼程；我不去想,身后会不会袭来寒风冷雨,既然目标是地平线,留给世界的只能是背影。
２４，后悔是一种耗费精神的情绪.后悔是比损失更大的损失,比错误更大的错误.所以不要后悔 。
２５，日出东海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不钻牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦。
题：被称为世上最经典的25句话 | 回响 (0)
□来源：Time 2 Learn
□作者：david □时间：December 18, 2003 05:25 PM
□内容：
前不久访问“E-Learning心法”，看到其中的“嘉言集锦”，哑然失笑，引子是“計畫永遠趕不上變化，變化比不上長官的一句話”，引出的还有“快樂不是因為擁有的多，而是計較的少。”“經驗不是一個人的遭遇，而是他如何面對自己的遭遇。”等。碰巧今天又收到同事的电子邮件，觉得亦有同样智慧。不过世间事从来知易行难，座右铭也不过一条，总归要一堑一堑地吃下去，才能长一点点智慧啊。
被称为世上最经典的25句话
送交者: 冬云 2003年12月16日16:21:15 于 [五味斋]http://www.bbsland.com
１，记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的。改变能改变的，接受不能改变的。
２，能冲刷一切的除了眼泪，就是时间，以时间来推移感情，时间越长，冲突越 淡，仿佛不断稀释的茶。
３，怨言是上天得至人类最大的供物，也是人类祷告中最真诚的部分。
４，智慧的代价是矛盾。这是人生对人生观开的玩笑。
５，世上的姑娘总以为自己是骄傲的公主（除了少数极丑和少数极聪明的姑娘例外）。
６，如果敌人让你生气，那说明你还没有胜他的把握。
７，如果朋友让你生气，那说明你仍然在意他的友情。
８，令狐冲说“有些事情本身我们无法控制，只好控制自己。”
９，我不知道我现在做的哪些是对的，那些是错的，而当我终于老死的时候我才知道这些。所以我现在所能做的就是尽力做好待着老死。
１０，也许有些人很可恶，有些人很卑鄙。而当我设身为他想象的时候，我才知道：他比我还可怜。所以请原谅所有你见过的人，好人或者坏人。
１１，鱼对水说你看不到我的眼泪，因为我在水里．水说我能感觉到你的眼泪，因为你在我心里。
１２，快乐要有悲伤作陪，雨过应该就有天晴。如果雨后还是雨，如果忧伤之后还是忧伤．请让我们从容面对这离别之后的离别。微笑地去寻找一个不可能出现的你！
１３，死亡教会人一切，如同考试之后公布的结果——虽然恍然大悟，但为时晚矣~！
１４，你出生的时候，你哭着，周围的人笑着；你逝去的时候，你笑着，而周围的人在哭！一切都是轮回!!!! 我们都在轮回中!!!!
１５，男人在结婚前觉得适合自己的女人很少，结婚后觉得适合自己的女人很多。
１６，于千万人之中，遇见你所遇见的人；于千万年之中，时间的无涯荒野里，没有早一步，也没有晚一步，刚巧赶上了 。
１７，每个人都有潜在的能量，只是很容易:被习惯所掩盖，被时间所迷离,被惰性所消磨。
１８，人生短短几十年，不要给自己留下了什么遗憾，想笑就笑，想哭就哭，该爱的时候就去爱，无谓压抑自己。
１９，《和平年代》里的话：当幻想和现实面对时，总是很痛苦的。要么你被痛苦击倒，要么你把痛苦踩在脚下。
２０，真正的爱情是不讲究热闹不讲究排场不讲究繁华更不讲究嚎头的。
２１，生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？
２２，我们确实活得艰难，一要承受种种外部的压力，更要面对自己内心的困惑。在苦苦挣扎中，如果有人向你投以理解的目光，你会感到一种生命的暖意，或许仅有短暂的一瞥，就足以使我感奋不已。
２３，我不去想是否能够成功,既然选择了远方,便只顾风雨兼程；我不去想,身后会不会袭来寒风冷雨,既然目标是地平线,留给世界的只能是背影。
２４，后悔是一种耗费精神的情绪.后悔是比损失更大的损失,比错误更大的错误.所以不要后悔 。
２５，日出东海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不钻牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦。
Sunday, December 14, 2003
The Generation of the 70s
Finally, I called Zhen, my best girlfriend in China. We have lost contact for a couple of years (busy life). But we were able to pick up our conversation as if no time has elapsed since 1997. She said she still has that photo--two of us eating raspberry underneath a tree in Peking U campus.
Zhen and I are so typical of people born in the 70s, positive, idealistic, spiritually-fulfilled, successfully with our careers, but wise enough to not to be tied to materials. We can be happy without money and able to make the best out of nothing. She has an anthology of poems needed to be published; I have a novel. And all these factors, we are both single! Zhen said she feels content about being single and wouldn't mind being this way all her life. She is translating biographies of Marx; and deeply in love with study of religion. Thank you for being my soulmate all these years even when we did not communicate. Some of the relations, time and space can't separate.
Zhen and I are so typical of people born in the 70s, positive, idealistic, spiritually-fulfilled, successfully with our careers, but wise enough to not to be tied to materials. We can be happy without money and able to make the best out of nothing. She has an anthology of poems needed to be published; I have a novel. And all these factors, we are both single! Zhen said she feels content about being single and wouldn't mind being this way all her life. She is translating biographies of Marx; and deeply in love with study of religion. Thank you for being my soulmate all these years even when we did not communicate. Some of the relations, time and space can't separate.
Love Stories
Called my sister and she had fun stories to tell too. Her recent romance with a boy in Shanghai. It was a raining night, they took a long walk on the street, sat in front of a store, and drank up an entire bottle of red wine. This brings back the memories of my college love, stories left behind at the Nameless Lake and the Yangzi River.
She was involved with another boy but now things have changed. Chinese society is getting so materialistic these days; you have to think of reality. I can't blame her. I would probably make the same choice. How lucky I am to live in the states! Money, family background, or the person's job will not affect the natural affection; because a capable man can always turn his life around.
She was involved with another boy but now things have changed. Chinese society is getting so materialistic these days; you have to think of reality. I can't blame her. I would probably make the same choice. How lucky I am to live in the states! Money, family background, or the person's job will not affect the natural affection; because a capable man can always turn his life around.
Fun Evening
Dancing is always stimulating. I can finish a paper after dancing all night. This is known as the emotional engagement of work/learning. So we had a blast at that party. I danced with others to the "gaslamp band" (I just named them), Salsa, Tango, Swing, Combia, and others. Some people might felt uncomfortable at this--more of an "academic" party. But who cares! I am old enough to enjoy myself, to judge myself, not afraid of being judged, and do not care for what others say. I am too busy in living my own lives--like Hilary said.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Dreams
I had lots of interesting dreams last night. My mind is always so active when I sleep. Yoga exhausted my body but energized my mind. How interesting. The dream scene was a narrow street, like the one in State College. Lots of coffee house and stores along the street. I saw my mother, sister, a high-school classmate (Zheng Xin), and J. A bunch of nice-looking boys sit in one of the cafe. They were all Journalists.
Gong Li was in my dream, having a lawsuit with someone. Not a real lawsuit, more of a debate. The juror said she was too arrogant to answer the questions well. She decided to run away with her new lover to Hong Kang but then he got a phone call. That call said, "we must leave now." It was a military order.
Gong Li was in my dream, having a lawsuit with someone. Not a real lawsuit, more of a debate. The juror said she was too arrogant to answer the questions well. She decided to run away with her new lover to Hong Kang but then he got a phone call. That call said, "we must leave now." It was a military order.
Semester is winding down
Finally, the finals week. Pressure is high but spirit is good. My Tuesday class dressed up, dressed down, dressed how they felt. They said they will miss me. I'll miss them too. One of the most lively classes I have ever had. They treat me like a friend but respected me as a teacher.
The other class, some are eager to get out of the professor-student thing so they can really be my friends. I am moved. I brought them some diverse cookies, French cookie labeled in Chinese.
I can smell Christmas in the air.
The other class, some are eager to get out of the professor-student thing so they can really be my friends. I am moved. I brought them some diverse cookies, French cookie labeled in Chinese.
I can smell Christmas in the air.
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Live in Today-a special Column
I should start a special column on what is going on today in China. I will post news especially the music news I heard from Beijing Music Radio. Let's see if there are reader interests.
The December Moon
Monday is always a long day, because I teach a research class from 7-10pm. So I took a break at dusk and walked around our beautiful campus. Traffic on the freeway is busy as usual; I always love watching the traffic on the Southern CAL freeway. Then I spotted the big yellow moon, hanging over the hills of San Carols, serene and stunningly beautiful; forming such a contrast with the freeway. Just like a picture, the one you usuall only see on a postcard. The moonlight energized me and we had a good session studying statistics, not "sadistics." We live in such a busy industrial society; we need that moon.
Monday, December 01, 2003
Gathering
I had friends come over for dinner. It was such an enjoyable evening; all my work paid off--shopping, cleaning, cooking, and hosting. It feels so good to entertain others and make them smile. I also loved the setting of my dinner table: wine glasses, nicely-folded napkins, specially prepared dishes, and good accompanies of course.
Everyone brought wine and flowers. I am so moved by their generous love.
Everyone brought wine and flowers. I am so moved by their generous love.
Thursday, November 27, 2003
Excerpts from "We were born in the 70s"
To entertain friends who frequent this blog. Enjoy!
第二天亚当请她去吃中饭， 开着他深蓝色的Lexus. 右边的车门是坏的， 用力才能
打开。他侧过身开门的时候，她们的眼睛再次相遇了。那淡蓝色如同汪洋海水的眼
睛，让她那样轻易地陶醉。他们的唇再次相逢在午后的阳光里，象一对初恋情人，
羞涩而好奇， 那是记忆中甜蜜的一吻。 高挑英俊的亚当， 是毛咪少女时期梦见过
的白马王子。他看着她的时候，整个世界都不存在了。电影中看来的经典语句在心
中奏起了交响曲：
“每一次说再见都象永别”--<<魂断蓝桥>>
她那样渴望着他的拥抱！她愿放弃一切去追随他，那梦中情人。
分手时，毛咪依依不舍地看着亚当：“保证，你一定还会再见我！”
亚当：“我保证。” 他微微笑着，平静而憨厚。
......
然而，绵长的思念切不断。在湖边散步，看到一个骑自行车的人很像亚当，那种健美
的完全的男人， 象一只鹰在暮色的天空划过，掘取了她的心。“如果他要我嫁给他，
我会放弃一切搬去东部的！”毛咪边走边想。三十而立的人，最能体会到爱情的宝
贵。人生很多身外之物， 实在不重要。
-----
那是充满战争的一年。美国先是打了阿富汗，而后进攻伊拉克，电视上天天报伤亡。
虽然战火远离国土，却牵动着很多人的心。强大的美国，疯狂的美国；善良的美国
人，轻信政客的美国人。自从911之后，这个国家就没有安生过，经济衰退财政危机
庞大的失业大军。
那天她下班回来， 看到门口的一个包裹，贴着很多花花绿绿的邮票，来自伊拉克！
她心里格登一下，谁会从那儿寄东西来呢？该不会是恐怖主义的危险品？包裹很轻
软，象是衣物。难道是。。。。？她小心地打开了它，一件很眼熟的军服！是亚当
的，去年秋天相逢时他穿的那件深蓝色的衬衫。她曾对他说：“好喜欢你的衣服。”
他天真一笑：“以后不穿了送给你作纪念品。”
可是，怎么会从伊拉克邮来？他难道上了前线？很多年轻军人向往战场，因为那是
军人生活的高潮。然而亚当已经是老兵了，他厌恶战争，依恋安宁稳定的生活。她
抚摸着那件带着他体味的衣服，激动不已。突然，衣服口袋里掉出一张卡片，是亚
当写的：
“亲爱的咪子，来自战场的问侯！我已经在前线三个月了，天天想着你。你还怪我
吗？你能原谅我吗？夏天的事实在不知怎么跟你说，部队接到秘令立即出发，不能
告诉任何人。一切都在监控中，没法跟你道别。我希望你没有伤心或生气，在海那
边等我，还有一个月。你能到华盛顿来接我吗？别忘了带很多黄缎子，那象征着爱
情和重逢”。
........
一个夏日的黄昏，毛咪到达巴尔地摩，而后作出租去向Potomac, 亚当的骨灰将被洒
入 Potomac 河，他生前划船钓鱼的地方。华盛顿的夏日绿得叫人心痛！知了鸣成一
片，让她想起童年时光。天边飘着大朵大朵的白云，象是人们蓄积以久的眼泪。
.....
亚当的母亲紧紧地报了毛咪一下，邀请她上船， 那条亚当最爱的船，那条他在电话
里常常说起的船。有一次他钓到一条大鱼， 说有毛咪一半大。毛咪笑说：“下次你
来加州的时候，给我带条鱼好吗？”
亚当憨厚地笑笑，“Ok."
毛咪那样怀念他的笑，和他笑时孩子一般灿烂的神情。
....
船行在Potomac 河上。一个用星条旗包裹的盒子静静地躺在船头，那就是他的骨灰！
毛咪真想跑过去抱一抱它，而后大哭一场。船行到中央，亚当的父亲解开包裹，将
骨灰慢慢地一路洒尽。“安息吧！我的爱人。。。” 毛咪在心里默默祈祷着，两行
热泪冲出眼眶。伊娃却是面无表情地站着，仿佛她跟那个随风而去的人毫不相关。
此后的半年，毛咪天天梦见亚当，梦见他热烈的吻， 梦见他紧紧的拥抱。一个英俊
而朝气蓬勃的男人就这样从生命中消失了；她的魂也跟着他去了。世上一切都变得
不重要，身外之物有什么值得怀念的。有时她希望时光倒流一切重新来过，她会很
真实很热烈地爱亚当，没有游戏没有恩怨是非，只要能跟他在一起，她可以放弃一
切。
第二年的夏天，毛咪又去了Potomac 河，去祭典亚当。他的灵在她四周游荡着，象
<<人鬼情未了>>。 华盛顿的夏天郁郁匆匆，到处是浓绿茂密的树， 跟加州的棕榈
海岸大不相同。Potomac 河在不远处静静流淌，象一个宁静的处子。亚当，你还好
吗？你是不是感到寂寞？你想念你的船吗？你想念我吗？天边层层叠叠的云，挂着
她无限的情思。
河边的那家小旅馆里宁静清雅， 从前是一家修道院。在四层的小房间小而清爽，窗
外便是茂密的森林。开了窗户可以听见清晨的鸟，午后的知了，和夜间的水流声。
那水声象是亚当的歌声，他在唱思念她的情歌。这反朴归真的树林！关了灯她钻进
床单下，穿一件薄薄的睡衣，她幻想着亚当就睡在身边，紧搂着她的腰， 轻抚着她
的背。他总是那样细腻温柔， 包括他的吻。他会不时地吻她，即使在睡梦中。
在半梦半醒之间。那种温暖的浪漫感笼罩着
亚当，她少女时期一个短暂的梦，很快消失在岁月中。她以为她将从此带着对亚当
的记忆独度终生。
第二天亚当请她去吃中饭， 开着他深蓝色的Lexus. 右边的车门是坏的， 用力才能
打开。他侧过身开门的时候，她们的眼睛再次相遇了。那淡蓝色如同汪洋海水的眼
睛，让她那样轻易地陶醉。他们的唇再次相逢在午后的阳光里，象一对初恋情人，
羞涩而好奇， 那是记忆中甜蜜的一吻。 高挑英俊的亚当， 是毛咪少女时期梦见过
的白马王子。他看着她的时候，整个世界都不存在了。电影中看来的经典语句在心
中奏起了交响曲：
“每一次说再见都象永别”--<<魂断蓝桥>>
她那样渴望着他的拥抱！她愿放弃一切去追随他，那梦中情人。
分手时，毛咪依依不舍地看着亚当：“保证，你一定还会再见我！”
亚当：“我保证。” 他微微笑着，平静而憨厚。
......
然而，绵长的思念切不断。在湖边散步，看到一个骑自行车的人很像亚当，那种健美
的完全的男人， 象一只鹰在暮色的天空划过，掘取了她的心。“如果他要我嫁给他，
我会放弃一切搬去东部的！”毛咪边走边想。三十而立的人，最能体会到爱情的宝
贵。人生很多身外之物， 实在不重要。
-----
那是充满战争的一年。美国先是打了阿富汗，而后进攻伊拉克，电视上天天报伤亡。
虽然战火远离国土，却牵动着很多人的心。强大的美国，疯狂的美国；善良的美国
人，轻信政客的美国人。自从911之后，这个国家就没有安生过，经济衰退财政危机
庞大的失业大军。
那天她下班回来， 看到门口的一个包裹，贴着很多花花绿绿的邮票，来自伊拉克！
她心里格登一下，谁会从那儿寄东西来呢？该不会是恐怖主义的危险品？包裹很轻
软，象是衣物。难道是。。。。？她小心地打开了它，一件很眼熟的军服！是亚当
的，去年秋天相逢时他穿的那件深蓝色的衬衫。她曾对他说：“好喜欢你的衣服。”
他天真一笑：“以后不穿了送给你作纪念品。”
可是，怎么会从伊拉克邮来？他难道上了前线？很多年轻军人向往战场，因为那是
军人生活的高潮。然而亚当已经是老兵了，他厌恶战争，依恋安宁稳定的生活。她
抚摸着那件带着他体味的衣服，激动不已。突然，衣服口袋里掉出一张卡片，是亚
当写的：
“亲爱的咪子，来自战场的问侯！我已经在前线三个月了，天天想着你。你还怪我
吗？你能原谅我吗？夏天的事实在不知怎么跟你说，部队接到秘令立即出发，不能
告诉任何人。一切都在监控中，没法跟你道别。我希望你没有伤心或生气，在海那
边等我，还有一个月。你能到华盛顿来接我吗？别忘了带很多黄缎子，那象征着爱
情和重逢”。
........
一个夏日的黄昏，毛咪到达巴尔地摩，而后作出租去向Potomac, 亚当的骨灰将被洒
入 Potomac 河，他生前划船钓鱼的地方。华盛顿的夏日绿得叫人心痛！知了鸣成一
片，让她想起童年时光。天边飘着大朵大朵的白云，象是人们蓄积以久的眼泪。
.....
亚当的母亲紧紧地报了毛咪一下，邀请她上船， 那条亚当最爱的船，那条他在电话
里常常说起的船。有一次他钓到一条大鱼， 说有毛咪一半大。毛咪笑说：“下次你
来加州的时候，给我带条鱼好吗？”
亚当憨厚地笑笑，“Ok."
毛咪那样怀念他的笑，和他笑时孩子一般灿烂的神情。
....
船行在Potomac 河上。一个用星条旗包裹的盒子静静地躺在船头，那就是他的骨灰！
毛咪真想跑过去抱一抱它，而后大哭一场。船行到中央，亚当的父亲解开包裹，将
骨灰慢慢地一路洒尽。“安息吧！我的爱人。。。” 毛咪在心里默默祈祷着，两行
热泪冲出眼眶。伊娃却是面无表情地站着，仿佛她跟那个随风而去的人毫不相关。
此后的半年，毛咪天天梦见亚当，梦见他热烈的吻， 梦见他紧紧的拥抱。一个英俊
而朝气蓬勃的男人就这样从生命中消失了；她的魂也跟着他去了。世上一切都变得
不重要，身外之物有什么值得怀念的。有时她希望时光倒流一切重新来过，她会很
真实很热烈地爱亚当，没有游戏没有恩怨是非，只要能跟他在一起，她可以放弃一
切。
第二年的夏天，毛咪又去了Potomac 河，去祭典亚当。他的灵在她四周游荡着，象
<<人鬼情未了>>。 华盛顿的夏天郁郁匆匆，到处是浓绿茂密的树， 跟加州的棕榈
海岸大不相同。Potomac 河在不远处静静流淌，象一个宁静的处子。亚当，你还好
吗？你是不是感到寂寞？你想念你的船吗？你想念我吗？天边层层叠叠的云，挂着
她无限的情思。
河边的那家小旅馆里宁静清雅， 从前是一家修道院。在四层的小房间小而清爽，窗
外便是茂密的森林。开了窗户可以听见清晨的鸟，午后的知了，和夜间的水流声。
那水声象是亚当的歌声，他在唱思念她的情歌。这反朴归真的树林！关了灯她钻进
床单下，穿一件薄薄的睡衣，她幻想着亚当就睡在身边，紧搂着她的腰， 轻抚着她
的背。他总是那样细腻温柔， 包括他的吻。他会不时地吻她，即使在睡梦中。
在半梦半醒之间。那种温暖的浪漫感笼罩着
亚当，她少女时期一个短暂的梦，很快消失在岁月中。她以为她将从此带着对亚当
的记忆独度终生。
A poem about Hawaii
夏威夷的月亮
三月时节，我与你相逢，在月光如水的夜晚
海风轻吹，雪崩般的长吻， 淹没了那个夜晚的空中楼阁
那短暂的爱，超越时空，
荷花般清纯，木棉般燃烧，凤凰花般成熟， 丁香般四溢芬芳
如海上日出，山上野花，杨柳微风
更如乾柴烈火， 就这样， 烧尽了我二十岁的青春年华
我牵着你的手，行走在城市的灯红酒绿
风吹动你的风衣我的长发
和频频回守的人们
如同一场黑白电影， 描绘着巴黎的1920
你永恒的足迹， 印在第四大街的人行道
我与你舞蹈，在 Cafe Sevilla
那里的人们， 传说着翩翩舞姿美好爱情
在你火热的吻里， 我如花绽放
这个忙碌世界，沐浴着爱的芳香
你走的时候，我的魂跟着走了。
迷失的我，在那个城市里四处游走， 寻找你的影子
为什么， 你这样走，头也不回，给我一个永恒的背影
而我真正想留住的，却是你的眼睛
它们如星闪烁，在清晰的梦境
我在夏日的海岸， 画着你的相
你在沙漠的那边，写着我的名字
我愿放弃一切，天涯海角地去追随你
你是否愿意回报我似火热情
只愿时间停滞呀停滞
这样你就可以永远停驻在，丝绸般纤滑的躯体
就这样尝着相思之苦， 只是，
我像你盘中甜点， 可多可少
而你却是我的主食， 少一粒都会饥寒
我四处找寻，世上却无人像你
那风的潇洒，雨的多情，火的炽热，水的恬静
那如星明眸， 如月智慧
你如火的热情，只能在我的壁炉燃起
吞噬了我吧， 一只扑火的飞蛾
淹没了我吧，一只游泳的美人鱼
告诉我你何日回还！
你可知那痴情的巫山神女，
日夜等你在长江边
看船儿往返。。。
三月时节，我与你相逢，在月光如水的夜晚
海风轻吹，雪崩般的长吻， 淹没了那个夜晚的空中楼阁
那短暂的爱，超越时空，
荷花般清纯，木棉般燃烧，凤凰花般成熟， 丁香般四溢芬芳
如海上日出，山上野花，杨柳微风
更如乾柴烈火， 就这样， 烧尽了我二十岁的青春年华
我牵着你的手，行走在城市的灯红酒绿
风吹动你的风衣我的长发
和频频回守的人们
如同一场黑白电影， 描绘着巴黎的1920
你永恒的足迹， 印在第四大街的人行道
我与你舞蹈，在 Cafe Sevilla
那里的人们， 传说着翩翩舞姿美好爱情
在你火热的吻里， 我如花绽放
这个忙碌世界，沐浴着爱的芳香
你走的时候，我的魂跟着走了。
迷失的我，在那个城市里四处游走， 寻找你的影子
为什么， 你这样走，头也不回，给我一个永恒的背影
而我真正想留住的，却是你的眼睛
它们如星闪烁，在清晰的梦境
我在夏日的海岸， 画着你的相
你在沙漠的那边，写着我的名字
我愿放弃一切，天涯海角地去追随你
你是否愿意回报我似火热情
只愿时间停滞呀停滞
这样你就可以永远停驻在，丝绸般纤滑的躯体
就这样尝着相思之苦， 只是，
我像你盘中甜点， 可多可少
而你却是我的主食， 少一粒都会饥寒
我四处找寻，世上却无人像你
那风的潇洒，雨的多情，火的炽热，水的恬静
那如星明眸， 如月智慧
你如火的热情，只能在我的壁炉燃起
吞噬了我吧， 一只扑火的飞蛾
淹没了我吧，一只游泳的美人鱼
告诉我你何日回还！
你可知那痴情的巫山神女，
日夜等你在长江边
看船儿往返。。。
More Wishes: from my friend Yvonne
We met on Oahu February 2002 and have been friends since then.
To try to step back from the "fast paced" society that seems to sweep us in and cause stress when we could have enjoyed a nice cup of tea and spent time with those who are most special to us.
But I now realize that $ does not bring happiness even in large amounts of $ because we can always make more $ but those things in life (e.g. family, special friends, etc.) are irreplaceable.
I also am trying to learn to enjoy the "present" because if we always look toward the future we miss the "gift of the present time" and we are not guaranteed the future.
To try to step back from the "fast paced" society that seems to sweep us in and cause stress when we could have enjoyed a nice cup of tea and spent time with those who are most special to us.
But I now realize that $ does not bring happiness even in large amounts of $ because we can always make more $ but those things in life (e.g. family, special friends, etc.) are irreplaceable.
I also am trying to learn to enjoy the "present" because if we always look toward the future we miss the "gift of the present time" and we are not guaranteed the future.
A novel to Share--Thanksgiving
感恩节
我生在感恩节左右， 有时重叠。火鸡日因此也多了一层意义， 是我感谢生活给予
的日子。周六的天那样蓝， 阳光一射无余。去 Ikea 买了红色的窗帘，挂在卧室的
落地窗上。整个屋子一下显得喜气样样， 也冲淡了冬天的清寒。晚上睡觉时打开了
百页帘， 夜色和月光从恋逢里透进来， 象个波澜不惊的梦。 生活是这样沸腾，
这样美丽。快三十的我仍然常常这样感叹。生活中的惊讶和欢乐使我年少时的梦不
断重现。
跟你同度一生的只有你自己！我忽然明白了这句话的含义。这一年我依旧年轻，
但成熟， 自信，快乐，带着些沧桑的美丽。象校园民遥里的一首歌，“在那遥远的
春色里我遇到了盛开的她， 洋溢着灿烂的光华象一个美丽童话。” 我在自己的轨
道上忙碌行走，又不忘采摘路旁的玫瑰。我在世界这块土地上自由行走，遇到一些
传奇的人与传奇的事。
追求生活的美丽， 诗情， 与优雅---新一年的左右铭。不在乎吃什么也不在乎穿
什么，只让那年青生命的自然美四处飘扬。外界的人和事很少再干扰我， 我可以自
自然然地作我自己。
我生在感恩节左右， 有时重叠。火鸡日因此也多了一层意义， 是我感谢生活给予
的日子。周六的天那样蓝， 阳光一射无余。去 Ikea 买了红色的窗帘，挂在卧室的
落地窗上。整个屋子一下显得喜气样样， 也冲淡了冬天的清寒。晚上睡觉时打开了
百页帘， 夜色和月光从恋逢里透进来， 象个波澜不惊的梦。 生活是这样沸腾，
这样美丽。快三十的我仍然常常这样感叹。生活中的惊讶和欢乐使我年少时的梦不
断重现。
跟你同度一生的只有你自己！我忽然明白了这句话的含义。这一年我依旧年轻，
但成熟， 自信，快乐，带着些沧桑的美丽。象校园民遥里的一首歌，“在那遥远的
春色里我遇到了盛开的她， 洋溢着灿烂的光华象一个美丽童话。” 我在自己的轨
道上忙碌行走，又不忘采摘路旁的玫瑰。我在世界这块土地上自由行走，遇到一些
传奇的人与传奇的事。
追求生活的美丽， 诗情， 与优雅---新一年的左右铭。不在乎吃什么也不在乎穿
什么，只让那年青生命的自然美四处飘扬。外界的人和事很少再干扰我， 我可以自
自然然地作我自己。
Photo Album
http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=cg6dzr1.6i31tc1&x=1&y=-fyf2qz
Enjoy! My sister's newborn and my birthday ones.
Enjoy! My sister's newborn and my birthday ones.
In love with a song
"To whom your love goes?"--by Midnight Band
Please forget the past happiness;
My heart has gone with you
Lost the love of my life
Heart-broken to think of it this way
To whom your love goes
My heart is crying for you....
The words are not for me but the tune is. A pop Chinese song just came out.
Please forget the past happiness;
My heart has gone with you
Lost the love of my life
Heart-broken to think of it this way
To whom your love goes
My heart is crying for you....
The words are not for me but the tune is. A pop Chinese song just came out.
Monday, November 24, 2003
Catalina Stories (2)
Sunday was a perfect day. Karen and I felt like living in a storybook; not because we haven't been to beautiful places. It was just a perfect day. I love that boat! It felt like a cradle. I sat on the top deck and watched waves for an hour. The boat also saved a mobile boat, one that is just floating on the ocean. Like a crime scene.-:)
We hiked about 5 miles that afternoon. The hilly road reminds me so much of my hometown.
Great dinner too at the Blue Parrot. I can feel life at that place.-:) We had Mahi Mahi and French cake, followed by butter pecan ice cream, real fatty and sugary ones.-;)
We talked a lot but "everything we said on the island stay on the island." I love this agreement we came up with.
I also like the story of that hilly house built by that poor Frenchmen. He was hear-broken.
We hiked about 5 miles that afternoon. The hilly road reminds me so much of my hometown.
Great dinner too at the Blue Parrot. I can feel life at that place.-:) We had Mahi Mahi and French cake, followed by butter pecan ice cream, real fatty and sugary ones.-;)
We talked a lot but "everything we said on the island stay on the island." I love this agreement we came up with.
I also like the story of that hilly house built by that poor Frenchmen. He was hear-broken.
Back from Catalina
Catalina was great! A quiet peaceful island, like a mini-maui. That Hilly House story is heart-breaking. This Frenchman built that beautiful red house in two years, with his blind circus horse ???. He built it to please a lady he planned to marry. However, when the house was just getting perfect, she got tired of waiting. [Guys, whom to blame? Why don't you bring her over to see the house when it was being built?] He was heart-broken and banned women from entering that house. [What a nerd, punish yourself.]
K and I said, "everything we said on the island stay on the island." We talked a lot in that two days. She is so wise, kind, sincere, and passionate. She was able to leave her husband behind and drove us to Newport beach.
"Reflect and see how much you have accomplished in 30 years" she said.
"Find your own niche and create your own way of doing, no matter what other thinks. The vehicle to help you achieve goals"--Inspiring.
K and I said, "everything we said on the island stay on the island." We talked a lot in that two days. She is so wise, kind, sincere, and passionate. She was able to leave her husband behind and drove us to Newport beach.
"Reflect and see how much you have accomplished in 30 years" she said.
"Find your own niche and create your own way of doing, no matter what other thinks. The vehicle to help you achieve goals"--Inspiring.
More and More...
"It was so long ago that I was 30 that it’s hard to remember! Before kids seems so distant!
When I turned 29, I had a hard time with it. After that, it’s been smooth sailing. Life just keeps getting better (and busier!). We had birthday bashes on our fortieths just to keep it all in perspective.
My motto to live by... “Never say never” sort of sums it up. Stay open to try new things, stay awake to enjoy them and stay away from people who are mentally old (regardless of their chronological age)!
My dad always says “you really only have one alternative to aging!”--TL, one of my best girlfriends
"If there is a will, there is a way. I truly hope that your goal of becoming a novelist comes true. You have such a talent for words. Your passion for writing is admiring. The only hurtle is to find a way to jungle your time between teaching, research and writing. I know you can do it. I look forward to reading your first hardcopy."--Michelle, a very sincere friend
"Any words of wisdom for a young 30 year old??? Not really...except to thank God for giving you 30 wonderful years of blessings through the sunshine and the rain. And after thanking God...thank your Mother for bringing you into this world to be an inspiration to others."--Lins, a true true friend
'Many times, my own body (health-wise) tells me when I'm in over my head and I need to make a change. Listen to your body, which of course includes your heart!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! Love and best wishes"--A girlfriend from graduate school
When I turned 29, I had a hard time with it. After that, it’s been smooth sailing. Life just keeps getting better (and busier!). We had birthday bashes on our fortieths just to keep it all in perspective.
My motto to live by... “Never say never” sort of sums it up. Stay open to try new things, stay awake to enjoy them and stay away from people who are mentally old (regardless of their chronological age)!
My dad always says “you really only have one alternative to aging!”--TL, one of my best girlfriends
"If there is a will, there is a way. I truly hope that your goal of becoming a novelist comes true. You have such a talent for words. Your passion for writing is admiring. The only hurtle is to find a way to jungle your time between teaching, research and writing. I know you can do it. I look forward to reading your first hardcopy."--Michelle, a very sincere friend
"Any words of wisdom for a young 30 year old??? Not really...except to thank God for giving you 30 wonderful years of blessings through the sunshine and the rain. And after thanking God...thank your Mother for bringing you into this world to be an inspiration to others."--Lins, a true true friend
'Many times, my own body (health-wise) tells me when I'm in over my head and I need to make a change. Listen to your body, which of course includes your heart!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! Love and best wishes"--A girlfriend from graduate school
More Wishes from Friends: Thank you!
"Irena and I am very proud of your achievement in life, We still remember our first meeting in Beijing at the Sheraton hotel gift shop, you were very young but had lots of positive energy. We became friends and took care of each other."--Israel
"In my opinion, you already emulate many of the qualities and characteristics that I think are essential for a successful and happy life. Among these qualities, is your ability to inspire others to acheive their very best by your encouragement, confidence and overall optimism. I know that personally, this has had a huge impact on my own professional, and personal, development."--Don
"I have different "motto"during differe time.At present,I like very much a word which is in a book about Buddism:
One should be just like a lotus from water but not water on it, also just like sun and moon in the empty but not standing in the empty."--Zhen Er, childhood pal, Beijing
"Live one day at a time and be wise on that day."--Precy from the Philippines
"In my opinion, you already emulate many of the qualities and characteristics that I think are essential for a successful and happy life. Among these qualities, is your ability to inspire others to acheive their very best by your encouragement, confidence and overall optimism. I know that personally, this has had a huge impact on my own professional, and personal, development."--Don
"I have different "motto"during differe time.At present,I like very much a word which is in a book about Buddism:
One should be just like a lotus from water but not water on it, also just like sun and moon in the empty but not standing in the empty."--Zhen Er, childhood pal, Beijing
"Live one day at a time and be wise on that day."--Precy from the Philippines
Saturday, November 22, 2003
About Future
Do you dread the future? Or will you warmly welcome it as you
would a new friend?
Senator Hubert Humphrey, a man with an indomitable zest for
living, once talked about the "good old days." He said, "They
were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today,
and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still
unsung."
What a marvelous spirit! Our greatest songs are still unsung!
Quite a different spirit is found in a business magazine ad that
pictures a newborn baby with the caption: "Only 22,463 days until
retirement." The ad is cute, but it picks up on a spirit of our
day. It is a spirit of worry and anxiety. It is a spirit that
tells us, "You don't know what the future holds! It is likely to
be bleak; even disastrous! You can never be too careful!" You
know what spirit I mean.
I have always believed in the future. And I will look forward to
it with great anticipation. Why shouldn't I make friends with the
future? After all, I intend to spend the rest of my life there!
I am intrigued by a story about a bishop back in the 1870s. The
bishop had charge of a small denominational college. Annually, he
visited the school and stayed in the home of the president.
The bishop was a narrow thinker with a dim view of the future.
He told the school president during one of those visits that
everything that could be invented had already been invented.
The administrator disagreed. "In 50 years," he contested,
"people will learn to fly like birds."
That kind of talk greatly disturbed the bishop. "Flight is
reserved for birds and angels," he said emphatically, "and you,
sir, are guilty of blasphemy!"
The name of the bishop was Milton Wright. That name may not have
a great deal of meaning to you, but something else will. You see,
back at home, this clergyman had two enthusiastic sons - Orville
and Wilbur - who believed that our greatest songs were still
unsung! The rest of the story is one of an enthusiastic belief in
tomorrow. You know how it ends.
Do you believe that your greatest songs are still unsung? Will
you joyously welcome tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come?
Supported by those we hold dear and guided by faith, we,
too, can share an enthusiastic belief in tomorrow!
would a new friend?
Senator Hubert Humphrey, a man with an indomitable zest for
living, once talked about the "good old days." He said, "They
were never that good, believe me. The good new days are today,
and better days are coming tomorrow. Our greatest songs are still
unsung."
What a marvelous spirit! Our greatest songs are still unsung!
Quite a different spirit is found in a business magazine ad that
pictures a newborn baby with the caption: "Only 22,463 days until
retirement." The ad is cute, but it picks up on a spirit of our
day. It is a spirit of worry and anxiety. It is a spirit that
tells us, "You don't know what the future holds! It is likely to
be bleak; even disastrous! You can never be too careful!" You
know what spirit I mean.
I have always believed in the future. And I will look forward to
it with great anticipation. Why shouldn't I make friends with the
future? After all, I intend to spend the rest of my life there!
I am intrigued by a story about a bishop back in the 1870s. The
bishop had charge of a small denominational college. Annually, he
visited the school and stayed in the home of the president.
The bishop was a narrow thinker with a dim view of the future.
He told the school president during one of those visits that
everything that could be invented had already been invented.
The administrator disagreed. "In 50 years," he contested,
"people will learn to fly like birds."
That kind of talk greatly disturbed the bishop. "Flight is
reserved for birds and angels," he said emphatically, "and you,
sir, are guilty of blasphemy!"
The name of the bishop was Milton Wright. That name may not have
a great deal of meaning to you, but something else will. You see,
back at home, this clergyman had two enthusiastic sons - Orville
and Wilbur - who believed that our greatest songs were still
unsung! The rest of the story is one of an enthusiastic belief in
tomorrow. You know how it ends.
Do you believe that your greatest songs are still unsung? Will
you joyously welcome tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come?
Supported by those we hold dear and guided by faith, we,
too, can share an enthusiastic belief in tomorrow!
To "Passion Flower"
I like this name. I do. Love it, in fact. Here are a collection of wishes from friends and busy bees (LOL):
"To a good person who works hard at her job but who is sufficiently self-assured and content to realize that her work isn't the beginning and end of her life, and who remembers to keep in touch with the artistic, reflective, and passionate sides of her life."
"I would probably sleep on your patio if you'd let me. Maybe I will come over and sit in you patio chair all night to stand watch and keep you safe."--a loyal friend who constantly moves me.
"wild thing, you make my heart sing"--I love that song.
"To a good person who works hard at her job but who is sufficiently self-assured and content to realize that her work isn't the beginning and end of her life, and who remembers to keep in touch with the artistic, reflective, and passionate sides of her life."
"I would probably sleep on your patio if you'd let me. Maybe I will come over and sit in you patio chair all night to stand watch and keep you safe."--a loyal friend who constantly moves me.
"wild thing, you make my heart sing"--I love that song.
Listen to the Sound of Life
This is the last day of my 29. I worked at home, allowing all kinds of thoughts to emerge. The wind is blowing the leaves of that big tree outside my window. That's the sound of life. I asked friends around the world for advise, about life.
One said, "You have a good start on a wonderful motto--To be a good person and be self-content, while heeding the calls of the artistic and passionate sides of my being." I spent holidays but rarely put my hear into celebration. But Nov. 23 is going to my day and I will live it to the fullest. Welcome to 30. Send me whatever wishes you may have, if only it's not about getting married or having kids. Here lives a free spirit, "like a gipsy, dancing in your little skirt" (KD). LOL.
One said, "You have a good start on a wonderful motto--To be a good person and be self-content, while heeding the calls of the artistic and passionate sides of my being." I spent holidays but rarely put my hear into celebration. But Nov. 23 is going to my day and I will live it to the fullest. Welcome to 30. Send me whatever wishes you may have, if only it's not about getting married or having kids. Here lives a free spirit, "like a gipsy, dancing in your little skirt" (KD). LOL.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Love Flying
I love flying, above the ground at 20,000 feet (is that a reasonable number)? Flying across the Pacific or continents can be mind-changing, as if life has been transformed. The world looks so small underneath and you can't see people. Lights spark like stars in the universe. You really wonder where everyone is and where your friends and loved ones are. All mistakes can be forgiven, all happiness are shared, all sadness can be left behind; life starts from the beginning, pure and fresh.
I am turning to 30 this week. I thought it will be difficult but it seems that life is really blooming when we get older.
I am turning to 30 this week. I thought it will be difficult but it seems that life is really blooming when we get older.
A Chinese literature site
It is called WenXue Cheng (Literature City): http://cg.chineselib.com/cg.pl?u=www.wenxuecity.com&f=t
Photos from Florida
http://www.ofoto.com/PhotoView.jsp?&collid=45050677405&photoid=37284176705 (Tampa)
http://www.ofoto.com/PhotoView.jsp?collid=45050677405&photoid=76094176705&&refreshkey=1069172814428 (Tampa Pier)
But, it is nice to come home.
http://www.ofoto.com/PhotoView.jsp?collid=45050677405&photoid=76094176705&&refreshkey=1069172814428 (Tampa Pier)
But, it is nice to come home.
Monday, November 17, 2003
Home, Sweet Home
Many thanks to my friend Michele and Kun for encouraging me to write this blog. I have been on the road this past two weeks, talking about a woman on the run--my friend KD. says. Life has been very interesting once the travel started. My flight to Florida was long but beautiful. We flew over New Orleans and I saw the beautiful and serene Mississippi. Orlando was a pleasant surprise too. I stayed on the 17th floor which overlooks international drive. I love being at high places.
I then went to Tampa bay and walked in the blue water of Gulf of Mexico. KD. picked me up at the airport with his nice truck. Life will be back to normal for a while before I run again. I'll write more tomorrow when I have better energy. You all sleep well!
I then went to Tampa bay and walked in the blue water of Gulf of Mexico. KD. picked me up at the airport with his nice truck. Life will be back to normal for a while before I run again. I'll write more tomorrow when I have better energy. You all sleep well!
Monday, November 10, 2003
Getting Ready for Orlando
I will be in Orlando this weekend, working for Asynchronous Learning Network conference. Life is wonderful but busy and crazy, as it always is. Better than feeling bored or dull. Always remember to be a better person, to cultivate friendship, and to love others.
Beautiful Phoenix!
I am in Phoenix, attending E-Learn conference. Hilton suites hotel is such a pleasant surprise. I walked into a beautiful suite that has the panorama view of Phoenix. The sunrise and sunset are spectacular. I always feel lonely the first day of the conference, trying to get around and get to know people. But once I am in the full-swing conferencing mood, life is good! Met some interesting people and went to an Irish bar. There was a live band from Ireland. Also went to the 24th floor of Hyatt. The Compass restaurant gives a great view of Phoenix and it runs a full circle in 55 minutes. The rest of the time, I went to sessions and sat on my balcony, watching sunset and airplanes.
But I am really ready to go home. There are lots of to do this time of the year.
But I am really ready to go home. There are lots of to do this time of the year.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
The Essence of Life
不在乎拥有多少物质财富，塑造外表和精神都美好的自己。很多现在看来重要的事，
三五年后都化作云烟。只有自己的形体，思维， 气质，心灵是不断发展无法摆脱
的。
这个季节火鸡风行。我生在感恩节左右， 生日有时跟火鸡日重叠。火鸡日因此也多
了一层意义， 是我感谢生活给予的日子。周六的天那样蓝， 阳光一射无余。去 Ikea
买了红色的窗帘，挂在卧室的落地窗上。整个屋子一下显得喜气样样， 也冲淡了冬
天的清寒。晚上睡觉时打开了百页帘， 夜色和月光从恋逢里透进来， 象个波澜不
惊的梦。 生活是这样沸腾， 这样美丽。快三十的我仍然常常这样感叹。生活中的
惊讶和欢乐使我年少时的梦境不断重现。
跟你同度一生的只有你自己！我忽然明白了这句话的含义。这一年我依旧年轻， 但
成熟， 自信，快乐，带着些沧桑的美丽。象校园民遥里的一首歌，“在那遥远的春
色里我遇到了盛开的她， 洋溢着灿烂的光华象一个美丽童话。” 在自己的轨道上
忙碌行走，又不忘采摘路旁的玫瑰。在世界这块土地上自由行走，遇到一些传奇的
人与传奇的事。
追求生活的美丽， 诗情， 与优雅----新一年的左右铭。不在乎吃什么也不在乎穿
什么，只让那年青生命的自然美四处飘扬。不受外界人事的干扰， 就这样自自然然
地作我自己。
“人，诗意地栖居在大地上”---海德格儿。
三五年后都化作云烟。只有自己的形体，思维， 气质，心灵是不断发展无法摆脱
的。
这个季节火鸡风行。我生在感恩节左右， 生日有时跟火鸡日重叠。火鸡日因此也多
了一层意义， 是我感谢生活给予的日子。周六的天那样蓝， 阳光一射无余。去 Ikea
买了红色的窗帘，挂在卧室的落地窗上。整个屋子一下显得喜气样样， 也冲淡了冬
天的清寒。晚上睡觉时打开了百页帘， 夜色和月光从恋逢里透进来， 象个波澜不
惊的梦。 生活是这样沸腾， 这样美丽。快三十的我仍然常常这样感叹。生活中的
惊讶和欢乐使我年少时的梦境不断重现。
跟你同度一生的只有你自己！我忽然明白了这句话的含义。这一年我依旧年轻， 但
成熟， 自信，快乐，带着些沧桑的美丽。象校园民遥里的一首歌，“在那遥远的春
色里我遇到了盛开的她， 洋溢着灿烂的光华象一个美丽童话。” 在自己的轨道上
忙碌行走，又不忘采摘路旁的玫瑰。在世界这块土地上自由行走，遇到一些传奇的
人与传奇的事。
追求生活的美丽， 诗情， 与优雅----新一年的左右铭。不在乎吃什么也不在乎穿
什么，只让那年青生命的自然美四处飘扬。不受外界人事的干扰， 就这样自自然然
地作我自己。
“人，诗意地栖居在大地上”---海德格儿。
My book plan
I have been writing a novel titled, "we were born in the 70s." Oh, yes, so much to write about. Here are some excerpts in Chinese for my Chinese readers:
我们出生在七十年代: 杜鹃花开四处
有一种人, 现实再严酷, 灵魂却总是在单纯的梦中. 故事中的人物毛咪和出生在七
十年代的那一批人，就这样在痛苦中快乐地燃烧着生命, 烧成一片火红的的杜鹃花
. 于是年年月月杜鹃花开四处.
--题记
不知道什么时候她们微笑着走出童年， 含着泪向童年说一声再见。
故乡的歌
是一只清远的笛
总是在有月亮的晚上
响起故乡的面貌
却是一种模糊的愁怅
仿佛雾里的挥手别离
离别后乡愁是一颗没有年轮的树
永不老去
--席幕容
人说初恋是清纯的荷花，热恋是燃烧的木棉，成熟的恋情则是凤凰花。
我们出生在七十年代: 杜鹃花开四处
有一种人, 现实再严酷, 灵魂却总是在单纯的梦中. 故事中的人物毛咪和出生在七
十年代的那一批人，就这样在痛苦中快乐地燃烧着生命, 烧成一片火红的的杜鹃花
. 于是年年月月杜鹃花开四处.
--题记
不知道什么时候她们微笑着走出童年， 含着泪向童年说一声再见。
故乡的歌
是一只清远的笛
总是在有月亮的晚上
响起故乡的面貌
却是一种模糊的愁怅
仿佛雾里的挥手别离
离别后乡愁是一颗没有年轮的树
永不老去
--席幕容
人说初恋是清纯的荷花，热恋是燃烧的木棉，成熟的恋情则是凤凰花。
What is your Passion?
What does love have to do with your personal and professional development? A lot. When we are emotionally involved, work becomes interesting, stimulating, and eventually successful. My passion is to write--articles, blogs, novels, poetry. or letters to friends. Writing to find out what you are thinking--a bright student of mine said so. Life is certainly not dull when you have so much to write every day. And fortunately, I can afford to do so as an academia. Yes, kudos to academic lifestyle.
Beach Walk
I went to Mizu, a Japanese restaurant at Mission Beach last night. It felt so good to get out. Their deluxe combo is my favorite, 6 pcs spicy tuna roll, with Salmon, house ginger salad, soup, and rice. A group of teens were celebrating birthday and they made lots of noises. I watched and thought, "this is how life should be." Always happy, always cheerful, always carefree, always own the world.
The tide was very low last night and the sky is covered by fog, can't see the moon and the stars. Airplanes took off and shot towards the sky, like brave and fearless birds. I kept wondering where each of them is going. I have some type of attachment to airplanes, because they take me from China to the U.S., to Dublin, to every corner I like to go. Airplanes also bring me back to the loneliness in my childhood, in that deep mountain of rural China. They remind me that there is a big world out there and you need to explore and experience!
The tide was very low last night and the sky is covered by fog, can't see the moon and the stars. Airplanes took off and shot towards the sky, like brave and fearless birds. I kept wondering where each of them is going. I have some type of attachment to airplanes, because they take me from China to the U.S., to Dublin, to every corner I like to go. Airplanes also bring me back to the loneliness in my childhood, in that deep mountain of rural China. They remind me that there is a big world out there and you need to explore and experience!
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Weird and Fascinating Dreams
I always have vivid dreams. This dream came about 5 or 6am this morning. The elevator of a high rise building did not work so we (with a friend Maria and another anonymous girl) had to climb to the 23th floor. Then we saw the night sky, the shining stars, and the Christmas carriage flying across the sky. I was very sad the entire time because in the dream a loved one vanished. The good news is that Chinese dream interpretation sees this as a positive sign, here is a URL if you can read Chinese, Dream-interpretation. However, don't cry in bed because that will be a bad omen. Who knows what is what!
But here are some examples:
1. Dreaming is better than not dreaming
2. Dream of shooting stars: your house is in danger (yes, San Diego fire)
3. Nightmare usually has good meanings.
I am happy now. Next time, check your dreams.
But here are some examples:
1. Dreaming is better than not dreaming
2. Dream of shooting stars: your house is in danger (yes, San Diego fire)
3. Nightmare usually has good meanings.
I am happy now. Next time, check your dreams.
Fire Update
The fire is now only burning in the East mountains and life is getting back to Normal. The air seems fresher today and finally I can see the smiling sun. School remained closed today. So I have been closed in at home in the past three days.
So sad to see people who have lost their homes, the hard core of an American dream. But also, we learned that material is only external and inner strength can help us get through difficult times.
So sad to see people who have lost their homes, the hard core of an American dream. But also, we learned that material is only external and inner strength can help us get through difficult times.
Sunday, October 26, 2003
The Day of Fire
Fire has burned down 615 homes! The first disastrous day after 911. 5000 people are being sheltered at QualComm stadium; freeways are closed. San Diego has become a ghost town, burning but bleak. Friends called; students emailed; colleagues offered housing. These all meant a lot to me.
The scenes on TV look like Gone with Wind. I am exhausted from car-loading and I felt like crying. My car is full of diaries, photo albums, important papers, clothing, and my favorite novel. A colleague said, “We’re watching the fire from our kitchen window. We’re not packed to go but on reflection there’s not much that we couldn’t live without.�
Doors and windows have been closed all day; I am near suffocation. Loneliness surrounds me like smoke. This is one of the very few times that I wish having a husband. [Smile]. I also miss loved ones terribly. When our lives are in danger, we realize the most important things in life. We learn not to take anything for granted. I need a tight hug to know that life is still good. I will be dreaming of it tonight if I can still sleep in my own bed.
The scenes on TV look like Gone with Wind. I am exhausted from car-loading and I felt like crying. My car is full of diaries, photo albums, important papers, clothing, and my favorite novel. A colleague said, “We’re watching the fire from our kitchen window. We’re not packed to go but on reflection there’s not much that we couldn’t live without.�
Doors and windows have been closed all day; I am near suffocation. Loneliness surrounds me like smoke. This is one of the very few times that I wish having a husband. [Smile]. I also miss loved ones terribly. When our lives are in danger, we realize the most important things in life. We learn not to take anything for granted. I need a tight hug to know that life is still good. I will be dreaming of it tonight if I can still sleep in my own bed.
I am getting ready for evacuation. Fire is getting closer to 8 Freeway. Hope everything will be fine. Can you imagine things happen over night like this?
Fire season
Fire is spreading in Southern California. The sky is covered by smoke and looks sand-yellow, like the end of the world. I am a little scared. Several freeways have been closed and people are being evacuated. A student emailed me to get project extension, "we are getting ready to leave our house any time." A peaceful and stable living environment is precious, indeed. How often do we take it for granted! How often do we take health, sufficiency, friendship, and love for granted!
Saturday, October 25, 2003
PNY
I had to use this as his name. He is from an Asian country and reminded me of the boys I grew up with. First class he said he wanted to be a lord, which made the class laugh. When we were making iMovie, he had this funny footage, "Bush said to me--you must do what you must do." He is one of the most bright, attentive and lively students I have ever had. He is also such as a free spirit. When he enjoyed working with computers, he sang in the middle of the class to himself. Finally I had to make a sign "no singing" and waved at him from time to time. He smiled, "that means you care."
The other night he brought me a bottle of soft drink. I thanked him afterwards and he said, "Don't worry about the drink, if it was up to me, you would get a drink delivered everyday to your front lawn." People like this made teaching fun and rewarding. I am glad I am experiencing this.
The other night he brought me a bottle of soft drink. I thanked him afterwards and he said, "Don't worry about the drink, if it was up to me, you would get a drink delivered everyday to your front lawn." People like this made teaching fun and rewarding. I am glad I am experiencing this.
Work is Not Everything!
Listening to others and get inspired. A nice lady from Colorado said to me, "work is not everything. There are so many important things in our lives." Most people know it but do not act on it. Work has invaded our personal lives like flood. If work doesn't go well, then we feel crushed, as if the world has collapsed.
I promised her that I'll write this down and revisit it from time to time. I hope you find it inspiring too. It's important to step back and look at the big picture of life and find a balance.
I promised her that I'll write this down and revisit it from time to time. I hope you find it inspiring too. It's important to step back and look at the big picture of life and find a balance.
Wonderful Two Days
Solitude! That's what I desire for in the morning. Just sitting at my home office, write, think and surf online.
I spent two wonderful days at a conference in Anaheim, the Disneyland. I went out with some friends from Utah and we danced to an open-air band, Salsa and merengue. It was such a beautiful band. The rest of the time I talked to people and made some new contact. I felt sad when I had to leave the evening party, which showcased the Manhattan band and the Swing Dolls. But there is always next time. It feels good to venture out of our little world and get connected to the larger world. And I miss the special people I met there.
I spent two wonderful days at a conference in Anaheim, the Disneyland. I went out with some friends from Utah and we danced to an open-air band, Salsa and merengue. It was such a beautiful band. The rest of the time I talked to people and made some new contact. I felt sad when I had to leave the evening party, which showcased the Manhattan band and the Swing Dolls. But there is always next time. It feels good to venture out of our little world and get connected to the larger world. And I miss the special people I met there.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
A beautiful Ocean Sunset.. I usually get tired of my photos quickly, but this one stays one of my favorites.
I worked intensively today. The weather was hot like summer and I recalled this wonderful summer of 2003. When dusk came, I took a brisk walk around Lake Murray. The cool breeze caressed my hair, styled like Mega Ryan in You got Mail.
Airplanes flew across the evening sky, and the stars sparkled all over. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by the memories of this summer, that warm cozy July night in D.C., that club night in Santa Barbara, and those unforgettable nights in the red woods. I keep telling myself that this is my best year, a year of travel, adventure, dream, reality, passion and maturity.
D.C. was quite fun. I spent four nights in a secluded fourth-floor room at a conference center. The hotel is located right in the forest of Benesda and used to be a convent. When the night came, the room would be in complete darkness. It took me right back to nature! I must have slept like a baby, accompanied by the singing trees, just like those summer nights in that Chinese village. I also met a beautiful singer Kristy. We walked everywhere in the Mall area, from G street to the White House. Another night we were soaked by the pouring rain, on the way to a Salsa club near George Town. Surprisingly, we both found dedicated dance partners and had a wonderful time.
Santa Barbara was quite an experience too. The campus dorm was right by the ocean. There I met a Spanish girl Nieves, a party queen. She drove me every night to downtown for bar hop,dancing and drinking whisky. It happened to be the fiesta week and State street was filled with happiness. You can get drunk by breathing the air. We then had that fiesta night at the downtown historical society. There were two bands and we danced under the evening stars. I was so immersed that I did not stop for a moment. Several people came to me and said, "You are quite a dancer!"
But none of the above can compare with the red woods; that isolated cabin in the deep red woods. I was the only human being within 5 miles. It felt like the most isolated corner on earth; no phone, no radio, but ironically, there was high-speed Internet. I was separated from the crowds but connected to the world. I asked a friend to tell the patrol to keep an eye on me. He called and said, "The officer looked quite confused. He said this is such a safe place." I laughed and put Pepper Spray underneath my pillow and listened to Beijing Music radio all night long. It was at those moments I really got in touch my soul, my spirit, and myself. I felt stronger and peaceful afterwards. When the busy fall comes, I often retreat to that little cabin and feel the flow of life.
I have to stop here now and come back to the real world. Lots of work to finish this week. Gosh, life is busy, but never too busy to write. Writing is good for our souls, a friend said so. And he is right.
Airplanes flew across the evening sky, and the stars sparkled all over. All of a sudden I was overwhelmed by the memories of this summer, that warm cozy July night in D.C., that club night in Santa Barbara, and those unforgettable nights in the red woods. I keep telling myself that this is my best year, a year of travel, adventure, dream, reality, passion and maturity.
D.C. was quite fun. I spent four nights in a secluded fourth-floor room at a conference center. The hotel is located right in the forest of Benesda and used to be a convent. When the night came, the room would be in complete darkness. It took me right back to nature! I must have slept like a baby, accompanied by the singing trees, just like those summer nights in that Chinese village. I also met a beautiful singer Kristy. We walked everywhere in the Mall area, from G street to the White House. Another night we were soaked by the pouring rain, on the way to a Salsa club near George Town. Surprisingly, we both found dedicated dance partners and had a wonderful time.
Santa Barbara was quite an experience too. The campus dorm was right by the ocean. There I met a Spanish girl Nieves, a party queen. She drove me every night to downtown for bar hop,dancing and drinking whisky. It happened to be the fiesta week and State street was filled with happiness. You can get drunk by breathing the air. We then had that fiesta night at the downtown historical society. There were two bands and we danced under the evening stars. I was so immersed that I did not stop for a moment. Several people came to me and said, "You are quite a dancer!"
But none of the above can compare with the red woods; that isolated cabin in the deep red woods. I was the only human being within 5 miles. It felt like the most isolated corner on earth; no phone, no radio, but ironically, there was high-speed Internet. I was separated from the crowds but connected to the world. I asked a friend to tell the patrol to keep an eye on me. He called and said, "The officer looked quite confused. He said this is such a safe place." I laughed and put Pepper Spray underneath my pillow and listened to Beijing Music radio all night long. It was at those moments I really got in touch my soul, my spirit, and myself. I felt stronger and peaceful afterwards. When the busy fall comes, I often retreat to that little cabin and feel the flow of life.
I have to stop here now and come back to the real world. Lots of work to finish this week. Gosh, life is busy, but never too busy to write. Writing is good for our souls, a friend said so. And he is right.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Every day when I am working, my mind often slips into many of the memorable moments I had in the past. They put me into a more emotional and sentimental mode and thus I work more productively. Interesting, isn't it! I wonder if this has something to do with growing up in a high-context culture.
This morning I keep thinking of the Candye Kane concert in a beatiful town near San Francisco. I was feeling down that night, because of the end of a short vacation. And there she came, a big but charming, self-content, and courageous lady. Reviewers say, she is "as colorful as a peacock in a paint plant." She is sweet and down to earth. She can just be herself. Nothing in the world seems to bother her. And she sang several songs to celebrate passion and love and passionate love. That was the spirit I was looking for.
Fans gathered around the stage, dancing to her "for your love." At one point, she looked at me and showed me how to dance, especially some hip movement. I laughed, "sorry I have no hips." Chinese culture (the time when I was growing up) discourages women from showing their physical beauty and from creative expression in public. I used to be quiet and sweet but life in America has changed me. Now I often long for creative expression and sincere appreciation. Kane made that a special evening, which I think of often. No offense, but it feels so good to break out of the shell of an academia! Link to Kane: http://thinks.com/cgi-bin/music/music.pl/item-B000009OTB/search-AsinSearch/cds.htm
This morning I keep thinking of the Candye Kane concert in a beatiful town near San Francisco. I was feeling down that night, because of the end of a short vacation. And there she came, a big but charming, self-content, and courageous lady. Reviewers say, she is "as colorful as a peacock in a paint plant." She is sweet and down to earth. She can just be herself. Nothing in the world seems to bother her. And she sang several songs to celebrate passion and love and passionate love. That was the spirit I was looking for.
Fans gathered around the stage, dancing to her "for your love." At one point, she looked at me and showed me how to dance, especially some hip movement. I laughed, "sorry I have no hips." Chinese culture (the time when I was growing up) discourages women from showing their physical beauty and from creative expression in public. I used to be quiet and sweet but life in America has changed me. Now I often long for creative expression and sincere appreciation. Kane made that a special evening, which I think of often. No offense, but it feels so good to break out of the shell of an academia! Link to Kane: http://thinks.com/cgi-bin/music/music.pl/item-B000009OTB/search-AsinSearch/cds.htm
Words of the Day--stop comparing our lives with others; and stop asking why. We can always find excuses to feel sorry for ourselves. Enjoy what you have and make the best out of it. --Joel Osteen at Midnight show.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
I went for Salsa last night at La Jolla. It was fun. But my real passion is till Argentina Tango, which often feels like a dream of two minutes. [Hope some tango fans are reading this.] However, Tango is too sentimental and has to be reserved for special moments, either when I am really happy or really sad. I am too busy to have emotions these days [sigh.] Anyway I decided to balance my life/work and have some life. It seems that we can never finish work but life is too fun not to live.
Also, my mind can’t help slipping back to many of the special dancing moments I had with my dance partner who shares my dancing passion. In the past few months, we danced everywhere we met, starting from an island, to street musicians in several cities, and to fine restaurants like café Sevilla. People in Southern California rarely dance on the street, but we did, at a corner of Fifth and market. It was a corner that cut out for us, nice lighting, no crowds. People walked by and stared at us; some smiled with an encouragement. But we did not care what they think or feel. We were too busy living our lives. I often think of that corner and want to claim it ours. Growing up in a small and isolated village along the Yellow River of China, I felt like having lived multiple lives. Who can ever imagine that one day I will live in America’s finest city and dance Salsa. Therefore, I am often content with life and very appreciative of being alive and lively.
Also, my mind can’t help slipping back to many of the special dancing moments I had with my dance partner who shares my dancing passion. In the past few months, we danced everywhere we met, starting from an island, to street musicians in several cities, and to fine restaurants like café Sevilla. People in Southern California rarely dance on the street, but we did, at a corner of Fifth and market. It was a corner that cut out for us, nice lighting, no crowds. People walked by and stared at us; some smiled with an encouragement. But we did not care what they think or feel. We were too busy living our lives. I often think of that corner and want to claim it ours. Growing up in a small and isolated village along the Yellow River of China, I felt like having lived multiple lives. Who can ever imagine that one day I will live in America’s finest city and dance Salsa. Therefore, I am often content with life and very appreciative of being alive and lively.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Welcome to Gingermoon! The name is a bit weired but there is some history. Ginger spices up some of the best food (ice cream, fish, and carrot soup) and moon is what my Chinese name means. I'll try to keep up keep up. Thank you for visiting!
Linking to World: