Ginger Moon: The Journal of Life

I have been writing and thinking about shanghai: my body is in San Diego, my soul is with BB, and my mind is in Shanghai.
Here are some photos: http://www.geocities.com/tsiktsikcb/picshanghai.html
Enjoy! The little Paris of Asia, I can't wait to see it. Ah, life is so good, like sunshine, like moon.

That's how I have been feeling all these years. Lived intensively, one day used as two days. Have no idea why, just enjoy being this way.
Quite excited now! Just booked tickets to Shanghai, spring break. It's going to be a short and memorable spring. I began to dream about China; and I have never been to Shanghai. My sister will meet me at the gate, with lots of flowers in her hands, I hope.

Also, some of the dramas I wrote in my novel are playing out in reality. Told BB life changes as we speak. But, Je suis ici pour toi tour le jour! Enjoy every moment of life.

Life has lots of good moments; they make my heart sing! This winter, there was one special Saturday night. It was very cold outside, and I stood at the bar counter of a club in Northern CA. The band was really good and the songs were touching.

And then BB walked in unexpectedly. He dressed in his back leather coat, shining like a star in the clear eve. sky. He looked so much like George Colony. They bear amazing resemblance but BB looks better. He has that special inner glow, above all the pettiness, almost regal. His glow and my “youthful exuberance” (as he said) added up. We hopped from club to club, dancing Salsa, tango, and swing. A young man looked at us and said, “you are such a radical couple.”
It has been a fairy tale and will be for ever. The best things in life can be experienced but not owned. I asked BB to freeze many of the moments and keep them for me in a bottle. Whenever I feel blue, I will pour some happiness from that bottle. But that will be a dream. So here it ends:
Dreamy, dreamy, living life like a gipsy.

Many women waited their entire life to be a princess, the romance and comforts someone else bring to them. It never happened. This year I will stop searching and create a fairy tale for myself. Busy-bee said, "and that you are destined to dance, travel, and write, experiencing a depth of feeling that the others don't dare to explore. I would be honored to be a life-long friend of such a person. "
I am lucky to have busy-bee (BB). He is always there on email, listening, responding, and encouraging, the mate de mon coeur.-:)

I have not been in a good mood, because of the hectic daily lives, comparing to the pure writing and faire tale life I had this winter. However, I don't mind going through these ups and downs; they push me to reflect, think, and act to change. The crisis-opportunity logic. Pain is better than numb and indifference.

I don't know what to change yet, but changes will reveal one day. Not house-cleaning, maybe lifestyle--not to confine myself so much to work; dress up and go out to explore. Living like a princess, not a housewife, a mother, a cook, or any other mundane woman. {Since I already buried many of my youthful days in academic work, goals and objectives.} Now they are on track, I should digress! Maybe try some weekend getaways; bring my laptop and write. If so, the next city before Berkeley will be San Francisco.

A friend responded to my note:
You have an unusual talent for self-awareness and self-reflection, which puts you way ahead of the game. Just be aware that the year before tenure-review is so high-pressure that it makes everyone crazy. Still, you seem to be on to something: you've worked so hard throughout your youth, that you are due to live a good life and explore your passions. Lucky for you, you still have the appearance and medical age of a teenager! New Orleans is not a bad choice, but I'm not sure it would be at the top of my list for a weekend getaway. Before that maybe S.F., S.C., or just exploring some part of Southern California (road trip) you haven't seen before. But New Orleans is nicely "different" if you want a change of scene. Given this need for wanderlust and exploration, I would say that your previous year was really successful -- you haven't been wasting time!

从没有对你说，我忍受着孤独漂泊
只因为不放弃，从前许下的诚诺
怎么样的生活，无法停止我心中的火
你是否能感觉，对你的爱我从没变过

我会忍不住把心给你
快乐和眼泪，在未来未来的未来
你能否能否看得见，我深情到心碎
幸福和疲惫，在未来未来的未来
这世界世界都听见，我寂寞的誓言
我爱你
--水木年华

From A in-progress Novel:
2004年的春天到了，姜月儿却常常想起冬天里的那个壁炉，那个或许再不会有的壁炉；
温情，浪漫，火热，甜蜜痛苦笼罩着她，象多云的天气。世俗的生活这样无味，想念的日子非常难过。她在爱de记忆里迷失了；这种迷失
和南加州快节奏的物质金钱世界格格不入，更增加了她的痛苦。她要作时代的弄潮
儿，却找不到时代在哪里。

到底要追求什么呢？是物质的丰裕还是跟物质无关的梦想。是要随波逐流呢还是要
保持自己的风格，象那样，到处散发着艺术的光芒。

It was a splendid trip; many surprises and everything turned out well. I had a 2-bedroom suite right on the beach, with a fireplace. I picked up some woods on the beach and have someone light the fire for me every night. Sitting in front of the fire, reading a book and writing a novel, it was very cozy.
Also, danced everything, swing, salsa, tango, and rumba. People support musicians in this town; every club is packed with fans and music and dance lovers. I adored that bluegrass bans at a cafe house.

See photos here: http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=cg6dzr1.176kavyl&x=0&y=-ph1899
Click "View Photos". There are quite a few glamorous shots.

I wrote so much during this trip. Now I am going to try have it published this year, so I can buy that unit I stayed. -:)

I am on my way to the beaches and red woods. Yeap! My new year started with a one-week get-away. So excited! Last year I went to Hawaii and lots of good things happened. Life is a process of continuous exploration and a series of adventures.
Resolution? Time management: Learn not to do trivial things and get focused!
Wish you a happy and healthy new year. I will write more when back.